Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

If you ever need a lesson in patience, try training a horse. If you have no patience and an inability to learn it, don't. I am NOT, by nature a patient person when it comes to traffic, people, phone calls, boiling water and preheating ovens and a myriad of other things, but I am extremely patient with horses and children. I think God knew that I needed to often learn these lessons in patience, and put horses in my life as part of that plan. My parents might tell you that ever letting me see the inside of a barn and feeling the soft muzzle of a horse was perhaps the biggest (financial) mistake they ever made, but I for one, think that horses have taught me much more than I could ever learn in the inside of a classroom, office, or even on a therapists couch.

When dealing with horses, you have to learn a "way" to conduct yourself that is often counter intuitive to our natural instincts as humans. For example, when threatened with bodily harm, humans most often resort to the "fetal" position to guard our internal organs. When sitting on the back of a bucking and bolting horse however, "fetal" is not a good choice- ask me how I know this :)  Riders work for years to learn to sit up/back and not react to a frightened or naughty horse by leaning over and grabbing onto the saddle etc.  when panicked. When a horse plunges into a fit of bucking, crow hopping etc. at a horse show, you will often hear a chorus of voices around the ring say in a low singing and soothing tone, sit up, sit up, whoaaaaaaa, hooooooo. It's a reflex to me now, but it's part of that education that you can't get anywhere else. You also have to learn to never raise your voice, scream etc. in the presence of a frightened or injured horse- esp. one with a rider still attached. Horse people have major issues with this because our emotions overcome us when something we love so (whether horse or human) much is in danger. To see a horse and rider pair crash and burn over a big cross country fence is not only disheartening, but just plain scary, trying not to "exclaim" in any way is almost impossible, but remaining calm, quiet and in control, will do far more to help the situation than to exacerbate it by acting "human".

Little things like this have changed and influenced the way I handle lots of situations, horse related or not. I once drove up on a wreck that had just happened, and this sweet lady got out of her car to help about the same time I did. As soon as she saw blood, she screamed and literally just started walking around in circles in the middle of a two lane road- helpless. I grabbed her arm, sat her on the curb and gave her an assignment- call 911, which she could barely accomplish- while I spoke to the bleeding driver and kept her company until help arrived. I was SURE in that moment, that my training with horses over the years has taught me to stay calm and quiet in those types of situations- and not freak out at the sight of blood. My adrenaline was pumping and physiologically, my hair stood on end and my body was actually shaking (like when you shiver from cold), but I could stay calm- and for that I am thankful.

Horses teach us how to think outside of ourselves- and not of ourselves and how to take responsibility for things other than ourselves and most of all- how to work- hard. They are not just a pet that we pat and love and take pictures of and throw food at, but a partner that we develop a strong bond of trust with and a relationship- a non-verbal relationship where the needs of both sides must be communicated and met. It's a wonderfully fulfilling challenge to develop a partnership with a horse and although it's tricky to understand if you haven't done it, it's worth the work.

So now to my point, the coolest thing about riding, and perhaps the most frustrating, is that you can ALWAYS learn more, and you can ALWAYS get better. Even Olympic gold medalists take lessons from other riders. Training a horse and developing that partnership is a long journey and there are always bumps in the road. Weather for one, has been putting a damper on a regular riding schedule this winter, and even though Jazz is an entirely different horse now than she was at this time last year, there is always more to be done. When I rode her Saturday, it was for the first time in almost three weeks- which is a lot of lost time! She was great, but a little poky and I could feel that her fitness level, as well as my own, had decreased. Things like transitions and rhythm that should perhaps now be second nature, were difficult, but she was very good and workmanlike and we had a nice ride! The three steps forward that I felt like we had taken around Christmas time (which I still need to write about), were still somewhat intact!

Today, was the two steps back. She was her usual self on the ground, friendly and curious, finding reasons to  prance around in the cross ties. The ride started like any other- and she even stood for a moment for me at the mounting block- which is something we always struggle with (and that I am admittedly too lazy/impatient to spend time working on regularly). She is learning however, the meaning of "STAND" and I try to reward her for her good moments in it! We did a few minutes of walk and changed direction several times and worked on single loop serpentines as well as we could in a field with no dressage letters-  i use piles of poop as markers :o and she was feeling relaxed and light in my hands. I love those moments when our upward transitions are complete with no change in the shape of her neck/back and her ears are split- one trained on me and one pricked forward while in my hands I feel that elasticity/lightness and yo-yo motion like the weight of two shampoo bottles in my hands. That- is our "correct" and we are getting those moments more often now. I used to struggle with just being interesting enough for her to even concentrate on me (the days of giraffe neck on a swivel are coming to an end) so this is big progress. All is well and I decide to get brave and work on canter transitions on a ~20m circle. My plan is this: stretchy but connected and relaxed trot circle, transition up at poop pile "A" without losing the connection and getting "grabby" into the canter (which I know is pretty much a shot in the dark, so I give myself a whole circle to settle into canter and get her back) the canter circle back to "A", then five strides to downward trot transition, then count of ten trot steps and back into canter, five strides, back down etc. until we are getting the hang of it and relaxing into the transitions.

So all is well on the trot circle, I am literally sitting to ask for the canter and BOOM she throws her entire body into the air- shoulders first- like taking a four foot jump from a standstill and then BOLTS while shortening her neck back and up  (so theres nothing to WHOA with my hands because I've already got her ears in my face) and simultaneously crow-hopping as I try to sit deep and whoa her with my body. Out of the corner of my eye (this is during gallop/crow hop interlude) I see what caused this eruption- two men came out of the creek bed wearing bright orange reflective traffic vests and white hard hats (read- very visible to a horse) along our fenceline- where NO ONE ever is. I feel her back come up underneath me as the ground flies by and she lets a pretty decent buck out- which unseats me for a moment so I grab a fistful of mane and look up- it's that moment right before you eat dirt when you think to yourself - "shit- this is probably going to hurt and your eyes start looking for a good place to land"- but at the same time, my mind said "you are fine, just sit down and hold on"- and I did. I didn't fall off- but I almost did. For the first time in a long time.

I have only ever come off of my mare once, and that was right after I got her. I was up on the mounting block and a friend was there with me. Not knowing my mare's eccentricities she tightened my girth right before I got on (too tight- though) and then grabbed the reins just under her bit and popped her one good time and said "whoa" because she doesn't like to stand for mounting. Well- before I could say "dont"- Jazz did. I had one foot in the stirrup and was swinging my leg over when she had had just about enough of this stranger popping her in the mouth and the too tight girth and she let go of a good little rear/bounce/sidestep and I front flipped right off the other side of her! I was fine, but embarrassed, and quickly learned that you DO NOT over tighten her girth or grab her under the mouth to get her to stand- especially not simultaneously! Anyway, Jazz has a pretty decent arsenal of tricks when she gets frustrated and like her mother/owner, she can throw a decent tantrum when pushed to the limit. There's nothing MEAN about her tantrums- she's just saying in Mare, "I don't know what you are asking me and I don't think I like it!" So today it was a big old spook- which she has NEVER done with me before, but I couldn't hold it against her really because those MONSTERS!!!! utility workers came out of nowhere, but she DID use the spook as an excuse to behave badly- the reaction was a tad dramatic...

So after her "moment", I walked her over to the men on the fence line and although she snorted her way allll the way over, acting all incensed about who they were and why the heck they were walking next to her pasture, once she got there- she promptly pops her head over the fence and nudges the man and starts to rub her face on him for a scratch- ho bag.  I spoke to them and they said kudos for staying on and one of them asked if I race her...why do all non-horsey people assume all horses are racehorses?....although perhaps she did look a little like one in her first ten strides of pure BOLT.  We went back to our circle to pick up where we left off and when I asked for the canter transition this time- she threw me another crow-hopping fit just for emphasis. I growled at her and made her do it three decent times- although she never settled into the canter at all- but I wanted to end the day on a good note with her NOT learning that she can be dramatic in order to get out of work. Sigh... two steps back.

I try not to take it personally, but sometimes we do when the animals we work so hard with/for seem uninterested and uncooperative- but thats just part of the training process and again, that patience thing. After I untacked her turned her out- she trotted off to the round bale and I did barn chores. Before I left I walked out into the pasture to pick up some trash I had seen out there earlier that blew off the road and she followed me over (normally she would just stay at the bale and watch me unless she suspected I had food of any sort) and I stopped and she put her big ole head on my shoulder and rubbed her face on me. I said "oh- are you apologizing?" and she twitched her lips on my jacket (grooming behavior- which she doesn't do often) and so I knew that was a "yes". I scratched her face and rubbed her ears and then she sauntered back off to the round bale. I needed that moment with her- and again, I was thankful that because of horses, I am slow to judge and quick to forgive- horses that is ;), but I'm working on humans too.

Me? Naughty? Never....

Thursday, January 6, 2011

2011

happy new year! sort of.

don't get me wrong i am VERY grateful to get to start another year in this somewhat charmed life, but eww eww eww- so far, 2011 has been a test of my patience. it all started at the end of 2010 when my computer got some terrible virus, and although husband was VERY sweet to have bought me this cute little DELL netbook, he failed to inform me that it had NO virus protection included. being somewhat ADD and flighty about these things, i just assumed all computer came with virus protection- well- no- they don't. so for almost a whole year i escaped unscathed, but two days after Christmas, all of my 187 contacts in my yahoo mail account received an e-mail stating that ryan and i had taken a holiday trip to wales, and were stuck there after being robbed at gunpoint and that ryan was beat up and i couldn't get him out of the hospital or check out of the hotel unless my dear family and friends rescued us by sending money via western union. so after 68 text messages most of which said, "umm you have a virus"  or, "are you really in england?" i tried to stop the mass destruction. turns out, some naughty nigerian (thats where the IP address was from that hacked my computer) was just phishing for funds and luckily, he got none, since i sent out mass text messages and called everyone i could think of that would actually fall for that (my parents friends). this naughty nigerian changed my e-mail password and then subsequently also logged on to my facebook and changed my status to London, England- i suppose in an attempt to make the e-mail look legit. not cool. yahoo.com help team is awesome and i quickly regained control of my yahoo account, they never quite got to my gmail account although they tried, and facebook help team (which just FYI you can NEVER talk to an actual person) is moving more slowly and i STILL don't have my facebook account back even after sending them like 48 pieces of requested info that only i would know and proving that my e-mail address is in fact fixed as well. this is week two without facebook- and i feel like lindsay lohan would feel if a big ole bowl of cocaine was locked just outside of her reach. 

to double the facebook withdrawals, i have had what i now call "stage four death cold plus ebola" for the last week or so. i NEVER get sick, i might tell you i'm sick to get out of a social event, but i never actually GET sick- until last week. what started as an annoying dry cough turned into mega cough, headache, sneeze fest with body aches and fever- and this special bonus where when i sneeze, this weird pain shoots from the base of my skull down my arms to my fingertips- thats the ebola part i decided. then add fatigue and stomach issues and voila- you have my last week in a nutshell. so really, theres nothing like sitting at home feeling like absolute CRAP trying to remember the logons and passwords for every website under the sun so that you can change them all before naughty nigerian gets to them, while simultaneously trying to explain to non english speaking CSR on the phone that YES, you do want to keep your account open, you just want to change the password and make sure there hasn't been any unauthorized activity and said non english speaking CSR cannot understand YOU- the native english speaker because of the amount of mucus that has taken over your body. and finally, when you decide that jumping out the window is not really a responsible solution to your problems, you can'e even get on facebook to look at peoples pics from new years and talk to friends without infecting them in person because the facebook security geeks are stilll nursing their new years eve hangovers.

thank goodness for doggies who love it when mom is home for what they think is just to pet them ALL day and for ponies that still snuggle and probably like it when mom is sick because they get to prance around and eat hay instead of work. and also- i am thankful for bad TV- specifically TLC and shows like "my strange addiction" and "toddlers and tiaras" and that one about the Palin family and the rafting guide named "mudflap". i have never felt so normal after watching these shows, and luckily there was no one home to see me throw myself into a coughing fit that made my stomach muscles sore because i started laughing so hard.

now that stage four death cold plus ebola is down to about a stage 1.5, i can finally start thinking about the things i am looking forward to in 2011. specifically, taking the big mare to a little show in february to do some jumper classes and a dressage test, and helping to finish up the chicken coop and getting them moved in so they can start laying eggs in the spring, and starting a whole new part of school- the fun part where i actually learn about things that i will be doing when i graduate, oh and planning for the rolex trip this year- my favorite part of spring!

will be back soon with my winter dressage lesson wrap-up and the story of getting to ride the #4 dressage horse in the nation! yay!