the 27th year

i turned 27 this week, reluctantly. not because i am one of those "i want to be 21 forever and college was the best years of my life" type people. i ASSURE you, i am not one of those! however, 27 feels dangerously close to 30, which used to be the definition of old in my head! now, 30 feels like the beginning of another part of life and definitely NOT old. with that said, I still don't know if i am prepared for it. i am somewhat of a 'planner' and i used to have diary entries when i was in middle/high school that were titled, "things not to do when you are a mother" and "what i will be doing when im 25" (which included having one child already! wow- scary!) anyway, as i have matured, i still like to plan, but i have discovered the freedom of knowing that MY plan is often not God's plan, and thank goodness for that! i have released the part of my personality that hates surprises, never likes to be without a car, and always wants to be able to know what is happening and when, to God, so that I can concentrate on the now, and even try to enjoy it a bit. I still have the urge to set goals and plan, which isn't a bad thing, but I have also learned that if everything doesn't go according to my plan, there is a reason for it. After all, I NEVER expected to be a 27 year old full time nursing student/nanny, still living paycheck to paycheck. and honestly, i didn't know if i would ever find the joy i had when i was younger through riding and owning and horse, since my first horse owning experience ended in a way that i can only remember as traumatic and heartbreaking. I am so very glad that God puts me in the right place at the right time and puts people in my life that are so very special to me. No offense to anyone who lives this life, but i thought at 27, that i would be happy to live in columbus and sit in the carpool line at brookstone and each lunch at the green island after church every sunday. not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that life, but i realized its not where i am supposed to be right now and that i wouldn't be happy in that life, so i'm glad i have learned to be flexible. most of all i am glad i have learned to listen to God, rather than myself, because judging based only on my history of haircuts and fashion choices, i am obviously not capable of knowing whats best for me- so i can't imagine what would happen if left to my own devices for bigger decisions.

given that preface, here a few things i am challenging myself to do, or have been challenged by others to do in my 27th year:
1. compete jazz in a beginner novice recognized horse trial- and of course bring home the blue ribbon.

2. sing more. this is something i enjoy doing in the relative privacy of my own car, but i have a friend who wants me to sing in public. i told her maybe- if given lots of gin beforehand. i sang a few times in little musicals in high school and that didn't seem scary then, but it seems scary now and i don't know how i did it. my voice was super soprano then as well and it's much deeper and fuller now- so i don't know if i could pull it off, but she swears if i never do it, i am wasting a part of me thats special- so maybe i will listen to her. maybe.

3. clean out and reorganize my file cabinet- yes, this may take an entire year.

4. be a better "student". not just in school, but in life. my personality and teaching degree makes me tend toward wanting to always have a teaching role in life and even in marriage. in my 27 year old wisdom, which has surely developed since my birthday on the 13th, i have become aware that i need to be more open to what other people have to teach me as well. i don't always have to be bossy a leader, and it's ok when i have no idea how to do something or handle something to ask for help.

not allowed

i remember when i first went to college and started driving though atlanta on a regular basis, a family member told me to avoid taking I-20 anywhere- in either direction, for any reason... so i've always been a little hesitant to travel that road. plus, if you ever listen to news in atl- the traffic and the shootings always seem to be on or just off of I-20. further confirming my rather irrational fear of that road...

lately- i have traveled NEAR and OVER I-20 on the west side of atl a lot on the way to a lovely horse farm that is out that way and am actually not so afraid anymore- although i still take back roads all the way.

THEN.... my friend sends me THIS on friday!!! the most hilarious, albeit worrisome facebook message that i have gotten in a while, (she was attending the same horse show that i was this weekend.)

"I'm ALONE in an indian run gangsta Sleep Inn that smells like rotten thai food"

turns out this hotel had a jacuzzi tub right out in the middle of the bedroom...not kidding.

and just WHERE was that hotel? thats right- just off of I-20. so my family member was right- just steer clear of I-20 and its gangsta stanky hotels and traffic- and jacuzzi tubs- and six flags- the tackiest place on earth.

above friend did in fact survive her stay at the Sleep Inn with the help of a little xanax- and probably a long hot soak in a jacuzzi tub while simultaneously enjoying an episode of law and order. (j/k)

so take our advice- I-20 is just not allowed.

UPDATE: Sick mare, sad mare

after three days of ulcergaurd and bran mashes and getting fed four times a day this was her owners facebook status today:
"so now instead of a zombie horse I have a hot 2 year old that needs a chain to walk out to her pasture. I'll take it."

Yay!!! She has turned the corner and will be on 28 days of ulcergaurd plus her fabulous new diet full of yummy things that make her neighbor horsies drooooooooooool. ember is back!