flying changes

there has been a lot going on around here lately! changes everywhere and big plans being made.

for starters, i changed my career path, once again, from nursing to surgical technology. i came to this conclusion after watching a few surgeries at a nearby hospital, there is one thing i have always known since i went back to school, its that i want to work in the OR. i love blood, and guts, and the vascular system and dissecting things etc. so when i watched, i noticed that the nurses in the OR milled about checking out vitals and stats etc and writing all kinds of things down, and filling out paperwork, coming in and out of the OR and in general missing all the fun! meanwhile, these other people (which i had never really heard of up until this point) were establishing the sterile field, holding retractors, suctioning blood, handing the instruments to the surgeons etc. and just in general RIGHT in the MIDDLE of all the fun. i asked a nurse, "who is that?" while pointing to the busy woman in scrubs and she said, "the surgical tech". and that was it- my life was changed. after mulling it over, and convincing my husband that i was in fact going to eventually finish school and i swear i wasn't going to change my career path again and that i would in fact still be finished on the same timeline- i did it. now happily plodding away in my classes, i realized that this is where i should have been all along. after all, we all know i love animals, with people always having been in second place- now i get to love them while they are anesthetized AND see their insides- what could be better?


as for a four legged update:
back in december, a dear friend of mine got the opportunity of a lifetime to be a working student for a very big name dressage farm for a year. although i was a bit disappointed that i could no longer bribe her with japanese food in exchange for lessons, i was excited about her year up there, getting to take her fabulous horse with her to learn, and hopefully seeing her succeed again in competitions this year and the North American Junior Young Rider competitions and Gladstone etc. they were 4th in the nation last year- which is incredible, and I even got the chance to ride her horse, which was very enlightening for me and quite an honor! she even says i rode him well, and he did in fact do everything i asked, (apparently she let another friend get on him and he would only passage) so i was sort of impressed with myself and inspired to ride Jazz the same way until she felt as "correct" as he does. this young rider has come so very far from the first time i met her about three years ago, and her horse, who was trained and made by HER, is turning out to be a very special guy- and he's only 7! although sometimes it's funny to think that you can learn so much from someone younger than you, and often just by watching, i have learned a few very important things from this pair. -
-first, dream big and expect the best of your partner. this pair exemplifies that- they have met nearly every goal they have set and when at dinner she announced to me that she plans to ride in the olympics in 2016, i don't for a minute doubt that she will. she rides every ride with high expectations of herself and her horse and that is something i have tried to emulate lately.
-second, discipline. um, the level of discipline this young lady has is surprising and a little scary. after hearing what her life is like day in and day out at her working student position, it's even more than i think i could stomach- and i'm pretty willing to be disciplined and work hard.  before she left, she got up every morning and drove an hour to the barn, rode- in a disciplined manner, cleaned her tack (daily), and was never shy about disciplining her horse if needed, or me in lessons when i was letting my mare get away with murder. for such a young person, she knows the true meaning of discipline, she loves her horse more than life, and would never be unfair to him or lose her cool, but at the same time, she is very workmanlike with him when he is creatively throwing his body into the air to avoid work, and he doesn't get away with it. this was so good for me to see, because i am admittedly a little "soft" on my mare. i love her and know every single hair, lump and bump on her body, and sometimes my emotions about "oh she raced for so long and doesn't deserve to be made to have a second career if it doesn't suit her" get in the way of the reality of "yes she raced for so long because she is extraordinarily athletic and likes to work and if you don't develop her natural talents then you are wasting a gift". so i have taken a cue from my friend, and demanded discipline of us both lately- and it's actually been very beneficial.
third- ride ride ride the horsey. along the same lines as the previous two, this young lady rides her horse like the postal service delivers the mail- rain, snow, sleet or hail. although she does have access to a fabulous indoor arena and i don't, i have stopped using weather as an excuse for inconsistent training. even if we just get on and walk for 20 minutes because its slippery, or lunge cuz i have the stomach flu, i am trying to be consistent in my training- and the mare loves it.

so after my little "emulate what is successful since she moved away and left you all alone" epiphany, i have tried to slowly put these things into practice little by little. and here is what has happened:
1. i work three days a week and by the time i get to the barn after work, its too dark to ride, so on the other four days of the week- i ride- no excuses. i consider it a standing appointment with myself and my horse. not, ride after i finish the barn chores or after i get groceries, it's get up, go ride, and then do your errands. husband may have to eat hot dogs sometimes because i forget to defrost meat for dinner in my rush to get to the barn, but he likes hot dogs. thank god.
2. when we ride, we ride for a reason. i usually set some kind of little goal for us and work towards it. i had a jumper show to attend in february and i knew we needed to actually jump before the show. with the snow melting and our field (with one jump) still muddy, i just had to get off and move the jump after every few jumps so the footing was safe. and i made an appointment with my friend to borrow her arena and schooled my mare over her fences a few days before. it REALLY made a difference. we were struggling a lot with refusals the week before the show- riding by yourself in a slippery field on a strong frisky mare who's lesbian lover is calling to her from the barn can be intimidating. when i get nervous (which is rare-honestly) my mare does not respond well. after two days of jump, buck, bolt, stop, spin... i was a little scared. that's when the refusing started. she was refusing some because she was unsure of how to use her body and mostly because i wasn't confident- and why would a green horse choose to jump when the rider's emotions are saying "this is scary?!" i was intimidated to try to train a green bean over fences who can throw a huge temper tantrum when she wants to and i was having visions of myself lying in a field alone until someone drove by and noticed a random tacked up horse munching at a round bale- and then add the refusal to that, where i am thrown up her neck and tasting ear hair, and it just doubled my trouble. THIS is when you need a jumping trainer- even when you have been riding a long time and the jump is only 2'3" and you have trained greenies before. now if only i could find a sane one, we'd be in business! so i prayed about our troubles and whispered to my mare that everything was ok and made myself change my attitude and go school with a fresh perspective in my friends arena WITH a crop (channeling the discipline here), and voila- after one refusal, she started jumping everything. i still told my friends they might want to act like they didn't know me at the show, but it all turned out well. we went to the show and the refusals we had were not dirty and they weren't coming from my insecurities, she was simply looking at the natural colored fence that was over in the shady corner of the ring- which is a perfectly acceptable move for a green horse over fences. by the end of the show she was jumping everything without a second look- and we learned so much and went home with lots to work on- which was the original goal. i was happy and proud.
3. i now ride with a crop over fences- i needed to because the dang smart mare is a master manipulator and i am a pushover. it is working well. sometimes, i even tap her with it ;)
4. we are pushing ourselves physically and mentally. the crazy GA winter weather and double snowmageddon allowed us both to get a bit out of shape- so we are pushing ourselves. when no one is around to see me, i ride in two point and try to do it with no stirrups- something i used to be able to do easily before i turned 27 and old and fat and lame. the mare, is being made to use her body correctly- taking cues from my ride on mr.4th in the nation- we are working constantly on stepping under more and using her hind end more and consistently. popping in and out of her correct frame (and i am NOT just referring to her head/neck) at the trot and canter because she is saying "but mom, it's haaarrrddd to work" is not being tolerated as much. of course, i understand it's a process and she needs breaks too, but she also needs a topline and butt muscles and it takes hard work to get them. we are also working on quiet and correct canter transitions and probably will be until the year 2099. my astute dressage trainer however, pointed out that i am over thinking the transitions and making them a big deal- then my drama queen mare gets to make them a big deal- so we are working on making them "no thang" as much as we are working on correct.
5. ummm we have lead changes?  so i know track horses do them while racing and training and i have seen her execute gorgeous ones in the field, but not undersaddle. we have tried them once before, but when i asked, she was like "oh ok, change and GALLOP" (which is the cue at the track), which wasn't lovely, so i just put them on the back burner and told myself we would revisit them after more canter work. the canter is still our stumbling block- she HAS the ability for a very nice canter and an elastic canter and an extended, working and collected canter, but our lines of communication for getting those had perhaps been cut??? like regenerating a neuron (excuse my nerdiness), the process has been slow and steady and sometimes absent. unbeknownst to me, riding over fences and in an arena with actual walls, would benefit us here. i let a friend hop on jazz and pop her over a fence because shes a good rider and she is working on riding all sorts of different horses and i like to see my mare jump, so they pop over the fence and get to the corner and boom- perfect and seamless lead change! i say "did u ask for that?" and she says no. i was impressed! next day, i am jumping her and she throws lovely changes at every corner every time and all i am doing really is shifting my weight into my stirrup. im not kidding they were seamless- like could barely feel her change seamless!  i was riding with friends, otherwise i think i might have cried with joy. it was one of those AHA moments that you don't forget in the process of training a horse. i think our canter work this winter, plus jumping and finally "getting it" at the show, and me seeing my friend get one that was so lovely and then remembering to get her balanced enough to be able to do one- just all fell together. it's not like we have tempis- but we have progress!

and with that- i am inspired to work harder and learn more and ask for more.

art+horses= perfection

when it comes to equine art, i have to say i am a bit of a snob. after all, how many of us have seen cheesy paintings of rearing arabians with flowing manes and bulging blood vessels painted on velvet with a lightning bolt in the background and sold in hotel lobbies as "art"? its frightening the majority of the time, when you hear about horses in art. if it's not rearing arabians, its bucking broncos or loping paint horses with native american faces in silhouette peeping out of the corners. of course, there are some WONDERFUL artists that paint horses and equestrian sport in a classic and realistic fashion- and that is the art i appreciate, however, i don't find a lot of those artists that aren't dead old white guys (like Degas, who did my favorite race horse scenes) so it's refreshing to find a young artist who works in a classic fashion.

melissa works primarily in graphite and watercolor and her latest work is in chalk pastel. those familiar with our tight knit little equestrian community in and around Atlanta are buying up her work as fast as she can finish it. i am currently on her waiting list, and am beyond excited to have a piece of her work based on my mare. she works primarily on commission and does lovely horse portraits, which i would have to say, look EXACTLY like the actual horse, not just a photo of the horse, but she is able to capture the movement and mannerisms of the horse as well. when she has time, she likes to do freelance work and is often attracted to classic baroque breeds and dressage based images for inspiration. this is her latest work, currently still for sale since she only just finished it. titled twilight and dawn in german, the work is based on two lusitano stallions and each one measures about 16x22. whether alone or in a set, each work is stunning and is sure to be the focal point of it's eventual home. i have to add that her prices are ridiculously low, and i keep trying to talk her into raising them, but all the money she earns from the works goes straight towards dressage lessons, so get a piece of her work before she realizes what they're worth!

zweilicht and anbruch
$150 each or $275 for the set

here are a few more examples of her work- all sold of course:

and my personal favorite, currently residing in the private collection of the marketing director for Atlanta Steeplechase, at least until I get invited to her house and start my career as an art thief:

every time i see her work, i am just refreshed by it, and re-inspired by the beauty and strength of the horse. i can't wait to walk up my stairs and get to feel that feeling every day! if you are interested in commissioning a work, or are interested in the work for sale, please contact the artist at melissa_syfert@hotmail.com, and tell her Ellie sent you!

Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

If you ever need a lesson in patience, try training a horse. If you have no patience and an inability to learn it, don't. I am NOT, by nature a patient person when it comes to traffic, people, phone calls, boiling water and preheating ovens and a myriad of other things, but I am extremely patient with horses and children. I think God knew that I needed to often learn these lessons in patience, and put horses in my life as part of that plan. My parents might tell you that ever letting me see the inside of a barn and feeling the soft muzzle of a horse was perhaps the biggest (financial) mistake they ever made, but I for one, think that horses have taught me much more than I could ever learn in the inside of a classroom, office, or even on a therapists couch.

When dealing with horses, you have to learn a "way" to conduct yourself that is often counter intuitive to our natural instincts as humans. For example, when threatened with bodily harm, humans most often resort to the "fetal" position to guard our internal organs. When sitting on the back of a bucking and bolting horse however, "fetal" is not a good choice- ask me how I know this :)  Riders work for years to learn to sit up/back and not react to a frightened or naughty horse by leaning over and grabbing onto the saddle etc.  when panicked. When a horse plunges into a fit of bucking, crow hopping etc. at a horse show, you will often hear a chorus of voices around the ring say in a low singing and soothing tone, sit up, sit up, whoaaaaaaa, hooooooo. It's a reflex to me now, but it's part of that education that you can't get anywhere else. You also have to learn to never raise your voice, scream etc. in the presence of a frightened or injured horse- esp. one with a rider still attached. Horse people have major issues with this because our emotions overcome us when something we love so (whether horse or human) much is in danger. To see a horse and rider pair crash and burn over a big cross country fence is not only disheartening, but just plain scary, trying not to "exclaim" in any way is almost impossible, but remaining calm, quiet and in control, will do far more to help the situation than to exacerbate it by acting "human".

Little things like this have changed and influenced the way I handle lots of situations, horse related or not. I once drove up on a wreck that had just happened, and this sweet lady got out of her car to help about the same time I did. As soon as she saw blood, she screamed and literally just started walking around in circles in the middle of a two lane road- helpless. I grabbed her arm, sat her on the curb and gave her an assignment- call 911, which she could barely accomplish- while I spoke to the bleeding driver and kept her company until help arrived. I was SURE in that moment, that my training with horses over the years has taught me to stay calm and quiet in those types of situations- and not freak out at the sight of blood. My adrenaline was pumping and physiologically, my hair stood on end and my body was actually shaking (like when you shiver from cold), but I could stay calm- and for that I am thankful.

Horses teach us how to think outside of ourselves- and not of ourselves and how to take responsibility for things other than ourselves and most of all- how to work- hard. They are not just a pet that we pat and love and take pictures of and throw food at, but a partner that we develop a strong bond of trust with and a relationship- a non-verbal relationship where the needs of both sides must be communicated and met. It's a wonderfully fulfilling challenge to develop a partnership with a horse and although it's tricky to understand if you haven't done it, it's worth the work.

So now to my point, the coolest thing about riding, and perhaps the most frustrating, is that you can ALWAYS learn more, and you can ALWAYS get better. Even Olympic gold medalists take lessons from other riders. Training a horse and developing that partnership is a long journey and there are always bumps in the road. Weather for one, has been putting a damper on a regular riding schedule this winter, and even though Jazz is an entirely different horse now than she was at this time last year, there is always more to be done. When I rode her Saturday, it was for the first time in almost three weeks- which is a lot of lost time! She was great, but a little poky and I could feel that her fitness level, as well as my own, had decreased. Things like transitions and rhythm that should perhaps now be second nature, were difficult, but she was very good and workmanlike and we had a nice ride! The three steps forward that I felt like we had taken around Christmas time (which I still need to write about), were still somewhat intact!

Today, was the two steps back. She was her usual self on the ground, friendly and curious, finding reasons to  prance around in the cross ties. The ride started like any other- and she even stood for a moment for me at the mounting block- which is something we always struggle with (and that I am admittedly too lazy/impatient to spend time working on regularly). She is learning however, the meaning of "STAND" and I try to reward her for her good moments in it! We did a few minutes of walk and changed direction several times and worked on single loop serpentines as well as we could in a field with no dressage letters-  i use piles of poop as markers :o and she was feeling relaxed and light in my hands. I love those moments when our upward transitions are complete with no change in the shape of her neck/back and her ears are split- one trained on me and one pricked forward while in my hands I feel that elasticity/lightness and yo-yo motion like the weight of two shampoo bottles in my hands. That- is our "correct" and we are getting those moments more often now. I used to struggle with just being interesting enough for her to even concentrate on me (the days of giraffe neck on a swivel are coming to an end) so this is big progress. All is well and I decide to get brave and work on canter transitions on a ~20m circle. My plan is this: stretchy but connected and relaxed trot circle, transition up at poop pile "A" without losing the connection and getting "grabby" into the canter (which I know is pretty much a shot in the dark, so I give myself a whole circle to settle into canter and get her back) the canter circle back to "A", then five strides to downward trot transition, then count of ten trot steps and back into canter, five strides, back down etc. until we are getting the hang of it and relaxing into the transitions.

So all is well on the trot circle, I am literally sitting to ask for the canter and BOOM she throws her entire body into the air- shoulders first- like taking a four foot jump from a standstill and then BOLTS while shortening her neck back and up  (so theres nothing to WHOA with my hands because I've already got her ears in my face) and simultaneously crow-hopping as I try to sit deep and whoa her with my body. Out of the corner of my eye (this is during gallop/crow hop interlude) I see what caused this eruption- two men came out of the creek bed wearing bright orange reflective traffic vests and white hard hats (read- very visible to a horse) along our fenceline- where NO ONE ever is. I feel her back come up underneath me as the ground flies by and she lets a pretty decent buck out- which unseats me for a moment so I grab a fistful of mane and look up- it's that moment right before you eat dirt when you think to yourself - "shit- this is probably going to hurt and your eyes start looking for a good place to land"- but at the same time, my mind said "you are fine, just sit down and hold on"- and I did. I didn't fall off- but I almost did. For the first time in a long time.

I have only ever come off of my mare once, and that was right after I got her. I was up on the mounting block and a friend was there with me. Not knowing my mare's eccentricities she tightened my girth right before I got on (too tight- though) and then grabbed the reins just under her bit and popped her one good time and said "whoa" because she doesn't like to stand for mounting. Well- before I could say "dont"- Jazz did. I had one foot in the stirrup and was swinging my leg over when she had had just about enough of this stranger popping her in the mouth and the too tight girth and she let go of a good little rear/bounce/sidestep and I front flipped right off the other side of her! I was fine, but embarrassed, and quickly learned that you DO NOT over tighten her girth or grab her under the mouth to get her to stand- especially not simultaneously! Anyway, Jazz has a pretty decent arsenal of tricks when she gets frustrated and like her mother/owner, she can throw a decent tantrum when pushed to the limit. There's nothing MEAN about her tantrums- she's just saying in Mare, "I don't know what you are asking me and I don't think I like it!" So today it was a big old spook- which she has NEVER done with me before, but I couldn't hold it against her really because those MONSTERS!!!! utility workers came out of nowhere, but she DID use the spook as an excuse to behave badly- the reaction was a tad dramatic...

So after her "moment", I walked her over to the men on the fence line and although she snorted her way allll the way over, acting all incensed about who they were and why the heck they were walking next to her pasture, once she got there- she promptly pops her head over the fence and nudges the man and starts to rub her face on him for a scratch- ho bag.  I spoke to them and they said kudos for staying on and one of them asked if I race her...why do all non-horsey people assume all horses are racehorses?....although perhaps she did look a little like one in her first ten strides of pure BOLT.  We went back to our circle to pick up where we left off and when I asked for the canter transition this time- she threw me another crow-hopping fit just for emphasis. I growled at her and made her do it three decent times- although she never settled into the canter at all- but I wanted to end the day on a good note with her NOT learning that she can be dramatic in order to get out of work. Sigh... two steps back.

I try not to take it personally, but sometimes we do when the animals we work so hard with/for seem uninterested and uncooperative- but thats just part of the training process and again, that patience thing. After I untacked her turned her out- she trotted off to the round bale and I did barn chores. Before I left I walked out into the pasture to pick up some trash I had seen out there earlier that blew off the road and she followed me over (normally she would just stay at the bale and watch me unless she suspected I had food of any sort) and I stopped and she put her big ole head on my shoulder and rubbed her face on me. I said "oh- are you apologizing?" and she twitched her lips on my jacket (grooming behavior- which she doesn't do often) and so I knew that was a "yes". I scratched her face and rubbed her ears and then she sauntered back off to the round bale. I needed that moment with her- and again, I was thankful that because of horses, I am slow to judge and quick to forgive- horses that is ;), but I'm working on humans too.

Me? Naughty? Never....

2011

happy new year! sort of.

don't get me wrong i am VERY grateful to get to start another year in this somewhat charmed life, but eww eww eww- so far, 2011 has been a test of my patience. it all started at the end of 2010 when my computer got some terrible virus, and although husband was VERY sweet to have bought me this cute little DELL netbook, he failed to inform me that it had NO virus protection included. being somewhat ADD and flighty about these things, i just assumed all computer came with virus protection- well- no- they don't. so for almost a whole year i escaped unscathed, but two days after Christmas, all of my 187 contacts in my yahoo mail account received an e-mail stating that ryan and i had taken a holiday trip to wales, and were stuck there after being robbed at gunpoint and that ryan was beat up and i couldn't get him out of the hospital or check out of the hotel unless my dear family and friends rescued us by sending money via western union. so after 68 text messages most of which said, "umm you have a virus"  or, "are you really in england?" i tried to stop the mass destruction. turns out, some naughty nigerian (thats where the IP address was from that hacked my computer) was just phishing for funds and luckily, he got none, since i sent out mass text messages and called everyone i could think of that would actually fall for that (my parents friends). this naughty nigerian changed my e-mail password and then subsequently also logged on to my facebook and changed my status to London, England- i suppose in an attempt to make the e-mail look legit. not cool. yahoo.com help team is awesome and i quickly regained control of my yahoo account, they never quite got to my gmail account although they tried, and facebook help team (which just FYI you can NEVER talk to an actual person) is moving more slowly and i STILL don't have my facebook account back even after sending them like 48 pieces of requested info that only i would know and proving that my e-mail address is in fact fixed as well. this is week two without facebook- and i feel like lindsay lohan would feel if a big ole bowl of cocaine was locked just outside of her reach. 

to double the facebook withdrawals, i have had what i now call "stage four death cold plus ebola" for the last week or so. i NEVER get sick, i might tell you i'm sick to get out of a social event, but i never actually GET sick- until last week. what started as an annoying dry cough turned into mega cough, headache, sneeze fest with body aches and fever- and this special bonus where when i sneeze, this weird pain shoots from the base of my skull down my arms to my fingertips- thats the ebola part i decided. then add fatigue and stomach issues and voila- you have my last week in a nutshell. so really, theres nothing like sitting at home feeling like absolute CRAP trying to remember the logons and passwords for every website under the sun so that you can change them all before naughty nigerian gets to them, while simultaneously trying to explain to non english speaking CSR on the phone that YES, you do want to keep your account open, you just want to change the password and make sure there hasn't been any unauthorized activity and said non english speaking CSR cannot understand YOU- the native english speaker because of the amount of mucus that has taken over your body. and finally, when you decide that jumping out the window is not really a responsible solution to your problems, you can'e even get on facebook to look at peoples pics from new years and talk to friends without infecting them in person because the facebook security geeks are stilll nursing their new years eve hangovers.

thank goodness for doggies who love it when mom is home for what they think is just to pet them ALL day and for ponies that still snuggle and probably like it when mom is sick because they get to prance around and eat hay instead of work. and also- i am thankful for bad TV- specifically TLC and shows like "my strange addiction" and "toddlers and tiaras" and that one about the Palin family and the rafting guide named "mudflap". i have never felt so normal after watching these shows, and luckily there was no one home to see me throw myself into a coughing fit that made my stomach muscles sore because i started laughing so hard.

now that stage four death cold plus ebola is down to about a stage 1.5, i can finally start thinking about the things i am looking forward to in 2011. specifically, taking the big mare to a little show in february to do some jumper classes and a dressage test, and helping to finish up the chicken coop and getting them moved in so they can start laying eggs in the spring, and starting a whole new part of school- the fun part where i actually learn about things that i will be doing when i graduate, oh and planning for the rolex trip this year- my favorite part of spring!

will be back soon with my winter dressage lesson wrap-up and the story of getting to ride the #4 dressage horse in the nation! yay!

the Break-Up

file this entry under "nothing to do with four-legged children". normally i don't have anything better to write about than the three furry centers of my universe but today, i am getting out my soap box and taking a stand!

What the HECK has happened to country music? The only phrase i can think of that properly describes my feelings here is, "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you."

I have been a country fan and listening to country forever; since my parents used to take me out in the boat at night to put me to sleep with a soundtrack of waves and Patsy Cline. I LOVE country and I respect it as a musical genre like no other. Lately, I am just plain disappointed. We have two local country stations here in Atlanta, Kicks 101.5 and 94.9 the Bull and lately I just want to KICK the BULL right out of my life. Ok, I know that was cheesy- but really. It's awful.

Here's a rundown of what I can expect each morning like clockwork on the radio between my house and work (my thoughts added underneath):

1. My Kind of Party- Jason Aldean

    (I love a good GA boy getting famous, but we've already played this song 3 times since 6:30 and really,   

       I'm just not in a party mood)

2. Something ridiculously overplayed by Zac Brown Band

    (Again, all for the GA artists, but he has more than three songs)

3. Back to Decemeber- Taylor Swift

    (Ugh....we all know how I feel about the "praying mantis". She's one hell of a creative songwriter, but

     her voice unnerves me and sometimes I wonder how many songs she is really going to write about

     inappropriate relationships, cough- Dear John, and why women over the age of 18 continue to relate to

     her drivel. Really? Is is illusions of grandeur from the high school days where being a cheerleader,

     thespian or clarinet player was what made you cool? Do we really need to listen to those songs to relive

    all that? I hope the ghost of Patsy Cline haunts her freaky house with the birdcage in it and interrupts her

    40,000 trips to coffee shop day with Jake Gyllenhal which we alll have to hear about on the news.GAG)

4. Stuck Like Glue- Sugarland

    (I LOVE most of Sugarland's music back when it used to be umm, country. But now that she and Britney

     Spears seem to have had a Jamaican love child named "stuck like glue", I am just sad. No part of that

    song is country. none. What happened to the Jennifer Nettles that used to sing bluegrass in the bars in

   Athens? Her strong soulful voice spilling out of her. Now it's just crazy yoga on stage and reggae. Tear.)

5. Felt Good on my Lips- Time McGraw

    (Just EWW. Tim, has Hollywood removed your reasoning skills? That song just screams "sellout" sort

     of like the last Weezer album, and the lyrics are literally ridiculous:

"She ordered us a drink, it was a purple kind of pain

she said its got a shot, a little bit of everything

a little yellow umbrella for a fella like me

it was just a bit mellow for me to be seen with"

       Oh yes, every hates a "purple kind of pain". And who lets Gwyneth Paltrow release a song from this

       same movie soundtrack on country radio? It's called Country Strong but I would name it vocally weak. 

       Just because you are married to a musician does not make you a good one. I love Gwyneth in all

       other roles- but singer- no.)

6. Good to be Me- Uncle Kracker

    (So already he has one strike against him for spelling words with a "k". Second strike is the lyrical

     un-country ness of everything he sings. Third strike is that he once described himself as a gangsta cowboy)

So now that I have changed the channel 6 times between I-75 and 285 W and am clearly driving distracted due to bad music, I start to just think about how many GOOD country songs and artists there are. Why do our two country stations play the same 10 songs over and over? If only I had Pandora in the car. I miss REAL country. Miranda Lambert and Josh Turner may be our only hope for the future.

I leave you with this ;)

turkey day

here comes the parade of food and family! obviously, if you have seen me lately, there is no doubt that i can find my way to a good meal. especially ever since my brother became a chef, and i have felt compelled to educate myself about food, wine and where what i eat is coming from.  but admittedly, i am a little bit of a black sheep in the family when it comes to food.

let me explain further. there are a few reasons that i don't quite fit in to my little family of four (pre-husband family). first of all, they all have gorgeously thick, wavy/curly hair and i didn't even HAVE hair until i was two, and even though it is thicker than mom gives me credit for, it is super baby fine and straight as a board. so while my mom spends hours a day taming her mane, my dad has no hint of a receding hairline, and my brother literally needs a haircut every two weeks, i am like the little hairless chihuahua in the corner- shivering from cold. and although i am permanently scarred for life by the memory of sitting on the bathroom counter EVERY morning while my mom curled my hair for school and secured it with some gigantic bow perfectly coordinated to my outfit, i now appreciate my genetic anomaly hair, which i can throw in a ponytail without looking in a mirror, or secure into a bun with a pencil, or just wash and then let dry on the the way to work! 

the other reason i am the "weird" one is all about food. my family and family gatherings, both immediate and extended REVOLVE around food and the preparation of it. i love to cook and try new things, but i have to admit, when mom starts prepping the dinner as we put away breakfast, it is sometimes a little too much for me. the smell of a roast being browned at 9:30 am just makes my stomach turn. as i said before, my little brother is a fabulous chef that graduated at the top of his class from culinary school and received several awards. he is amazing! i am far more tentative about food. i have always hated anything orange; carrots, sweet potatoes, anything orange flavored or glazed with orange, cheetos, orange soda... 
i also HATE nuts. they make me cringe. the best way i can explain it is that if i eat one it feels like the inside of my teeth start to itch. mom is famous for putting them in everything good- like brownies and cookies and dips and on vegetables so even if i try to pick around them, i inevitably get that terrible teeth itch feeling when one escapes my careful hunting. so i long ago gave up on eating any holiday goodies at all.  my food hatred also extends to anything that is all mixed up and cooked together with eggs- like, breakfast casseroles. i love bacon, and cheese and eggs, but if you blend them all up and cook them together it makes me want to vomit. i know that this doesn't make any sense, but i just cant handle it. so casseroles in general are usually out for me, although i have learned to like squash casserole over the years, and can probably stomach a few bites of spinach quiche without having a panic attack. i have gotten a LOT better over the years. i used to eat everything out of bowls because i hated when the juices touched each other and i was even a vegetarian for a while, which elicited disgusted responses from my family that were probably equivalent to if i decided not to shower for a year. i also love seafood now, which i spent most of my childhood avoiding- and quickly learned to smell everything that was put on my plate and described as "chicken". still, my family thinks that my food preferences are HORRIFYING. you might as well tell them you don't believe in America or Santa Claus.

mom has FINALLY (i'm 27) come to accept some of my food preferences and on Christmas morning she makes me a little corner of the monkey bread without nuts and eventually gave up on forcing me to eat sweet potatoes or carrots. (sitting at the table and gagging repeatedly when forced to try carrots glazed in orange juice, which is basically the worst combination of foods i can EVER imagine, worked pretty well since i can be overly dramatic when the situation calls for it) even though i still get the occasional eye roll from my family about my eating preferences, i have just learned to make things that i DO like for the holidays.

so while they get all giddy about eating disgusting things like lamb covered with rosemary (eww and eww) and sweet potatoes cooked for hours in cinnamon (eww) and brown sugar and of course topped with pecans (shiver), i look forward to contributing to the Thanksgiving meal in my own way. this year, i am making my customary favorite, green bean casserole- there's just something heavenly about something made with three simple ingredients- and even though my fancy schmancy chef brother scoffs at my delight over onions that come out of a can, he always still eats it, when he thinks i'm not looking. over the years, my sweet aunt sometimes sends me gently worded e-mails about possible "additions" to the green bean casserole, like chinese vegetables, or pearl onions, or mixing the toppings up, and even though i know that she has the best of intentions and has the amazing cook gene, like most of my family, i just cannot budge on that one. ya know, if it ain't broke...

this year i am also making Ryan's mom's recipe for squash casserole- which I LOVE and so does he. since he won't be with his family this year for the meal and there surely won't be any left by the time we get to the in-laws house for the weekend, i thought it would be nice to give him a taste of home. it's harder than people realize to be plucked from your family traditions and get used to new ones when you get married, so i always try to do something special for him- and not so selflessly- that squash casserole is amazing. even though it has vegetables and cheese and eggs all cooked together, there's something about the ratio of all the ingredients that doesn't set off my "mixed up together" food alarm. and i could eat squash every day of the year so it gets extra points for yummy-ness!

the last thing i am making this year is a new addition to the family's traditional menu. each person has a few dishes they are famous for and are pretty much required to bring every year, but i added this one to my list since the morning of thanksgiving starts when everyone arrives with  several breakfast casseroles strewn about and some kind of sketchy dead animal sausages that Landon procured from a local farm and then cured himself (props for buying local), i just can't ever trust that what they tell me about the ingredients will be true- therefore better to avoid all-together. for example, i would say something like, "dad, what kind of sausage is this?" and he would casually reply, "oh just regular pork sausage that landon made from a pig he bought and had butchered up in north GA from an organic farm" (thats a totally normal response in my family) and then AFTER i sniffed it and then took a bite, he would giggle and say "actually that was alligator/goat brain sausage that i had overnighted from louisiana from a 96 year old swamp farmer that raises his own goats to feed to the alligators and his wife harvests the seasonings and then marinates them for three years in mason jars in their backyard". im serious- responses like these would not surprise me. i am totally ok with trying new things- and all for supporting small farmers, but sometimes, i just want some plain old carolina pride sausage from publix- is that too much to ask?? every meal does not have to be an adventure for me in order to be satisfying. so i just decided to make some cinnamon rolls last year from a recipe i found from (don't tell my family!) sandra lee's semi-homemade show on food network. they absolutely LOVED them, and i secretly basked in their success even though i didn't mill my own flour to make them or import the sugar from a farm in puerto rico... so they are back on the menu again. even though mom mentioned how delicious they would be with a crushed pecan topping... ugh.

all food issues aside, the thing i look forward to most is the time spent with family. watching everyone gather in the kitchen and cook together all day and share recipes and critiques of foods and wines and restaurants and just talk about life. my family for the most part all have a funny sense of humor. you will get made fun of and prodded for information since we are all nosy, and your thoughts about how cumin can be used as a marinade for whatever will be thoroughly discussed. your dog training methods will be picked apart and i will get ribbed for not believing in "spanking" dogs while house training while meanwhile, my moms cavapoo is off peeing on a rug somewhere even though her method is "clearly" superior... we will talk about everyone's latest interior design choices, and whisper about some cousin's bad wardrobe choice etc. and there will be unceasing chatter and laughter and a beautiful prayer and lots to be thankful for. 

things i'm thankful for this year:

a family that's never dull and full of love

my four legged children and their health and affection

the little barn/farm that i love and hope to never have to live without

the chance to live in a place where i am safe and comfortable

living in a country where i get to be picky about food because there's plenty of it

a great job and the chance to go to school as well

a husband that i love and look forward to making squash casserole for every year

getting to be part of a family that supports and encourages you to do your best in whatever you do 

the generosity of others, both financial and otherwise

traditions both new and old

and lots more...

Happy Thanksgiving!

the police women of dallas

"the police women of dallas" is one of those shows that if you asked on any given day, i may or may not admit to watching- sort of like "dog the bounty hunter"- which is just not really describable in words but totally addictive. so anyway, the other night husband and i were flipping channels and stopped upon this show and one of the police women of dallas was being called out to a code (insert numbers here) which meant that a large group of people were fighting- it turned out to be a large group of "ladies" fighting in the parkling lot of an apartment complex.

this lovely little officer arrived all on her own, before back-up and began to attempt to break up the fight. the women were shouting profanities and spitting at eachother and weave was flying every which a way and lots of words like "respeck" and questions about who "knows" who were being tossed around.... i was scared for this officer. i would much rather try to break up a fight between men than one between a group of enraged women this large!

so after her back-up arrived and she handed out citations to several of the fighters and told them they were getting on her nerves she said the funniest thing i have heard in ages... i literally started coughing from laughing so hard! i can't help but share it and it's probably not nearly as funny if you didnt see the show but here we go!

as she was getting back into her car she said simply, "good Lord Jesus I need a sno-cone!"

and.... scene.