The City and High Battery Bluff

CAUTION- seriously cynical tirade and exploration of lifestyle ahead

So Ryan is out of town this weekend and I have been spending my Saturday night by watching a marathon of The City on OnDemand (the one GOOD thing about Comcast) and eating an unmentionable amount of brownie mix before I cooked it. Shut up- you've done it too.

Anyway, while watching perfect skinny girls galavant around with totally awesome/easy jobs and access to the best clothes and accessories on earth I was starting to feel really old, boring, and unfashionable. I was pretty sure I had the unfashionable part nailed since I was sitting on the couch wearing the riding pants I've had on all day with black and white polka dotted tall socks under my Uggs along with an absolutely ANCIENT brown North Face Denali and a bra that could contain a herd of wild elephants. But I was thinking to myself... "I totally have the same if not better taste in fashion than these chicks and they are practically dictating what's "in" for the seasons to come!" This made me feel a little better about myself. Also, I pretty much think I could do their jobs on any given day and I have no "training" in fashion. Maybe I am overestimating my taste, or maybe they are making something really trivial seem harder than it is. Now, I wouldnt for one minute trade my life out here in the burbs with those chicks but watching that show does make me miss going out, shopping- which only happens in my dreams now, and dressing in things other than riding clothes and "nanny wear" i.e. workout pants and jeans. I wonder though if sometimes those girls feel like their lives are just plain awesome or a little "emtpy". Even though they look so cute all the time and are pretty much surrounded by cute boys wooing them every day, I think I would tire of that lifestyle- but probably not the paycheck.

Do they know what its like to look foward to coming home at night and snuggling with their doggie? Do they know what they are missing on a beautiful Saturday afternoon spent outside on a horse with friends? Am I the only one who thinks thats fun? I think I am at a point in my life where my priorities are changing. I seem to bounce back and forth between two worlds where reading fashion magazine and blogs about fashion and thinking that I need to pay attention to all that and then the other world where some days I think it all seems really superficial and unimportant and I realize that I am the same person in jeans and a t-shirt as I am in TIBI.

I also tire of the constant need of my generation to feel cool by (Disclaimer: if you eat at chain restaurants- stop reading now) driving all the way to midtown/highlands to eat at some crappy place like Cheesecake Factory or Dantes Down the Hatch when I can get actual good and healthy food at a REAL restuaurant that is not delivered by a Sysco truck. I am, totally admittedly, a major food snob because my bro is a fantabulous chef and both sides of my family are pretty much foodies but REALLY- why would anyone actually want to gather at a place like, "gag noise", Olive Garden, Shout, or Panera. It just kills me when people that I enjoy being friends with want to meet at places like this. I really do want to hang out, I just can't go to places like this. I used to miss social gatherings all the time in Athens because people always wanted to go to Jason's Deli. OMG I can't imagine anywhere more frightnening- except for an unnamed place that serves chicken and waffles together. Enough about my restuarant phobias, back to The City... those girls do seem to have good taste in restaurants and date spots- which also makes me want to go back to NYC to visit or spend more time in ATL proper at our plethora of great boutique restaurants but then again sometimes I feel like I should grab some fresh produce from the market and cook something wholesome at home with Ryan and friends and not be such a "consumer" all the time.

Bottom line is, as I travel what seems like so very quickly through my twenties and inhabit this cute little house sitting on the edge of a big fabulous city and a some beautiful Georgia countryside, I cant decide whether I want to wear great clothes and jewelry and wait eagerly to see what Michael Kors has for us this season, or just throw on my jeans and wellington boots and enjoy the sunrise when I feed the horses and then go home and pick some fresh basil to put on my homegrown tomato slices and be excited to see a goldfinch sitting on my birdfeeder. Can I just do both? Honestly, I do want to do both. Do I have to decide who to be when I grow up yet? For now, I'm just a granola city girl I guess.

two in one day- i know its crazy...

I had chemistry class from 8-9:15 this morning and those of you that know me, or were ever a college roomate of mine know that I rarely, if ever, attend 8 o-clock classes but guess what? I LOVE my chemistry class, like, LOVE IT. I sit there riveted, learning and I like it and I actually go to it- voluntarily! Weird huh? Just a little epiphany for the day, I love chemistry. I'm just sayin'.

Soggy Poodles

It feels like it's been raining for weeks on end, poor Tucker (horse) is covered in rainrot (fungus on skin that makes hair fall out due to being wet all the time) and Rylie Boo of course refuses to relieve herself outside if it mists, much less rains. So we took a long walk not long ago after it rained and Rylie Boo was tromping through the woods like a champ, but came back covered in leaves, burrs, seeds and other forest souvenirs. I took a few pics to document the "poor me" face she was making as I cleaned her off with the garden hose *gasp...she much prefers a hot shower and the pics are quite funny.

On another note, I think she has a little tummy virus since she has thrown up four times in the last few days, refuses to eat until I make her dinner "special", as Ryan calls it, which means adding water and heating it in the microwave, and she is very NON characteristically laying around on my lap constantly being soggy (limp) and super sweet. Her aunt Hannah and uncle Chris did delight her the other evening though when they came for dinner and brought her and Doodle a toy. Doodle has an obsession with squirrels and its a stuffed squirrel, while my miniature bird dog has taken to carrying the stuffed Mallard around in her mouth and/or fetching it after Ryan quacks, makes a gunshot noise, and then throws it on the ground for her to retrieve. Nope, I'm not kidding... If anyone needs any suburban indoor ducks hunted in the warmth of their own home, I've got just the duck dog.

As sad as she gets though when she's cold and wet, she would never make it on a real hunt, but I won't burst Ryan's bubble with that truth since he's got her in heavy training. Meanwhile, the giant lab (um, bred for hunting), refuses to retreive anything and is terrified of all loud noises.

Anyway, soggy poodle is currently sound asleep in my lap and looking oh so sweet and innocent. I hope she's not feeling too bad though. A mother worries.

coming soon:

10 reasons why Comcast sucks

I hate slutty Halloween costumes and no, you don't look sexy.

Pumpkin Roll Recipe

Asheville is the best city ever, pack your bags!

Here comes Santa Claus

Two days ago I left my house with a little list and the intentions of getting some Halloween decor for the front porch. Much to my surprise when I arrived at Jo-Ann, Home Depot, and Walgreens, Halloween decor was no where to be found...it was already CHRISTMAS!!!

What?

It's not even Halloween yet. Or Thanksgiving. I was so confused. I went to THREE stores and barely came up with some faux spiderweb and a fall leaf garland. It was however, like 80% off, but what? It's Oct. 14th!

Home Depot has their entire garden section full of pre-lit trees, those frightening moving character things, and those light up reindeer that are really fun to pose in inappropriate positions. Don't get me wrong I LOVE Christmas and decorating but this is getting extreme. So, I simply did what I always do when I am forced to face something I don't like but have no control over, (i.e. our president, economic climate, traffic, weather, price of razor blades, crate and barrel's shipping charges etc. ) I just said a little prayer about it, and made myself think of one positive aspect of things being the way they are.

Here's what I came up with...

Now I can start making a Christmas list! :)

Here it is so far: (there are two versions, the realistic one and the just keep wishin' one)

Realistic one:
Little tiny notebook computer for internet and word processing
Costco membership
Foodsaver machine (so the costco membership can be truly taken advantage of)
Brown Uggs (yes i still like them and no i dont wear them with skirts)
Wine Bottle Chandelier from Pottery Barn (omg it would look so cool in my kitchen)
Patagonia Retro-X Jacket
Basically anything from the Garnet Hill catalog


Just keep wishin' one:
6 year old black Dutch Warmblood Stallion that does 3rd level dressage and jumps at least four feet, has great manners around people and other horses, perfect feet, trailers, and loves to be groomed.
Ford F-250 King Ranch, White with the baseball leather interior, 4 wheel drive and the tow package attached to a Featherlight three horse slant load with full dressing room
Black Christian Leboutin peep toes
A trip to Montana or Wyoming with Ryan
Flatscreens fo the crib
Caesar Milan to live with us for a month to train the wild things
Anything made of diamond

So forget Halloween and hum along with me, Here Comes Santa Claus, Here Comes Santa Claus...

divine proportions

So I've always had this theory that God make animals cute in proportion to their bad-ness. Take Rylie Boo for example, here is a picture of her as a puppy:

That has got to be the cutest puppy in the world, she doesn't even look real! If I had only known what was to come!

Poodles are very intelligent dogs, second on the list of smartest breeds after the Border Collie. This is a double edged sword however, because she learns quickly, but she also requires constant stimulation, or that little brain starts thinking up impossibly messy, expensive and naughty things to do! She has chewed up rugs, panties, shoes, pens, pencils, cups, pillows, all her toys, three cell phone chargers, brand new glasses with transitions lenses, mirrored mosaic christmas ornaments gingerly removed from the tree, I could go on forever. She has also "made it snow" by taking two rolls of extra toilet paper from the powder room, dragging them into the living room and shredding every square into tiny pieces. She actually arranged the mess into a "nest" of sorts and was sooo proud of herself when I came home! She prefers to poop indoors at her leisure and only on expensive rugs when I am either in the shower or asleep, and REFUSES to be kept in any sort of captivity, but the crate training is coming along so hopefully that won't be an issue much longer. The point is, if she wasn't so darn cute and sweet, I would have made her hide into a nice little throw pillow by now. God knows what he's doing, because her little poodle mind is constantly hunting for the next thing to do, jump on, chew, bark at, destroy, or demand. Hanging out with her is pretty much the highlight of my day though sometimes so it's worth the work! Doodle is absolutely beautiful too and comes with another set of problems, (she's basically autistic) but I've written about her before so you know the deal on that.

Now, there's a new lovely addition to the mix. Spencer is a seven year old 17.2 hand gorgeous black Irish Sport horse sent up to my friend Betty's barn for training. (to the non horsey's 17.2 hands means HUGE. Like, if I were standing on one side of him and you were on the other, we couldnt see eachother) He is the kind of horse I used to dream about when I was little and draw pictures of. He looks like Black Beauty from the movie. He is perfectly put together conformationally, with a sweet face, great hair, and great feet. (If you are not a horse person, this just means he is built perfectly, sort of like a male Abercrombie model but in horse version) I have the opportunity to train him, which is great! The more I ride him, the more he fits the theory... which makes me laugh daily. While Spencer is a wonderfully cute name, I usually call him "mule" and now pretty much everyone that handles him calls him that as well. Before he arrived a few weeks ago, he hadn't been handled in 14 months and was basically just thrown out in the pasture to be a horse. So he has NO manners. He stepped on my toe the first time I worked with him and broke my toe. He doesn't know about personal space at all, which most horses get, but he hasn't been handled so it's not really his fault. He also has a very sweet and funny personality most of the time; the first day I rode him, he picked up my saddle with his teeth from outside his stall and threw it across the aisle. He can untie himself and let himself out of his stall and he often knocks down the jumps in the pasture and kicks or carries the barrels around. This, to me, is hilarious and charming as far as horse behavior is concerned because he has so much personality. Luckily for him, he is gorgeous, because his charming personality only gets him so far. Yesterday, we took him to a Hunter Pace (10 mile long trail ride with jumps) and Sarah rode him and I rode Tucker (the wonderfully sweet and obendient horse I am leasing). Spencer decided that he was going to jump ONE coop and that was it. Sarah is a VERY capable and lovely rider and tried and tried to get him to go back over it. Spencer tried all the usual tricks, stopping dead in his tracks, backing up, kicking out, weaving around in circles being unresponsive to rider aids, pretending to buck etc. Finally, Sarah was exhausted since Spencer is HUGE and way stronger that any human so I got off Tucker, handed him to Sarah, and hopped on hoping Spencer would give up the fight and just jump the dang jump. He is used to me riding him and he has been fine jumping before, there was just NO reason that he wouldn't jump this coop! He refused to walk, he refused to trot, he backed in circles, he tried everything in the book, so I got the crop. Everytime I popped him, he bucked (don't worry non-horsey's this doesnt hurt him). Oh he was naughty! Finally, I walked him to the fence, stopped him in front of it and asked him to step over it. He's really big and I knew he was plenty capable of walking over it. He sat back on his haunches and launched over it instead, which was fine. At least he did it. I gave him back to Sarah and we continued our ride. As we cantered along, the "cuteness in proportion to badness" theory popped into my head again and I giggled to myself. He was an angel for the rest of the ride. He also flat out refused to get on the trailer when it was time to go back home and kicked out at Sarah with both back feet when she walked behind him with a broom. Another point for the theory! There's really nothing you can do to move a 1200 pound animal when he decides to be a mule. Spencer is just the kind of horse that I have always wanted though. He has the looks, he has the breeding, the size etc. and I'm pretty sure once he gets trained he will be worth all the work and I will end up falling in love and buying him from his owner who seems to not care about him anyway. Today when I rode, he refused to walk in a straight line or just walk at all in favor of walking backwards, refused to trot to one direction, and would only continue when one of his other herdmates went ahead of us (herdbound!). There was absolutely NO reason for this besides the fact that he enjoys being obstinate and lazy. Between his random fits of mule like behavior he also jumped with no issues at all and jumped the barrels (which are a little scary looking to some horses) without batting an eye. There's a great horse in there, but the theory is ruling hard for now! Every day when I pray I thank God for creating the horse. I think they are his most beautiful creation of all, and I think He might even giggle a little bit every time an especially gorgeous one like Spencer is born, because you just don't get to be that pretty without having some naughty thrown in. I will post some pics soon so you will see what I mean. Oh I love my four legged children.

True Confessions...

How I love a list! Here are a few recent confessions of things I have recently done, thought and experienced. I am writing about these because I may need to review these every so often in order to continue to work to become a more patient, kind, thoughtful and better person. This is a little embarassing.

1. I am a blogcrastinator... well, and sometimes I just don't have anything to say that anyone else should waste time reading. And Ryan made me insecure about blogging. (explained later)

2. I am trying to crate train the girls, which is shocking, I know, since I am the biggest anti-crate training person alive. Would you keep your child in their closet for 7 hours with no access to food/water/stimulation of any sort? But, the other morning, Doodle jumped up on the bed with her two front paws to wake me up and accidentally scratched me right across the cheek. As I jumped out of bed to see the damage after screaming an expletive at her, I stepped in a fresh pile of Rylie Boo poo on the bedroom floor, which I'm pretty sure was God's way of telling me that I should not start out my Sunday mornings screaming expletives at innocent animals. However, I did at that moment realize that my girls are spoiled rotten and out of control. Of course they are beautiful and sweet and do some great tricks, but none of their training is really useful and Ceasar Milan would kick my hiney for "personifying" my animals with human emotions. Thus, the crates. They are VERY slowly learning to go in them and will eventually only spend the night in there because I still believe in my "kid in its closet" theory.

3. Today, I went to Wal-Mart. And I liked it. Anyone who really really knows me knows that I haven't been to Wal-Mart and purchased anything in about a year and that I have severe, deep seated, anti-walmart sentiments because they don't pay women as much as men in equal positions, are terrible about hours for moms, are slowly choking the life out of the small American retailers and a myriad of other reasons that no one wants to hear about... anyway! I was on the way to the barn and as my little suburban Acworth melds into the pretty lake Allatoona area and slowly into more rural country there aren't a whole lot of places to shop. I needed some epsom salts to soak my horses foot in and Lord knows I LOVE a good Walgreens, but there is not one on the way to the barn so I was FORCED to stop at Wal-Mart since epsom salts are sort of an obscure item to be shopping for. I parked by the garden center, took a deep breath, and entered. I expected some good people watching since I was perilously close to the Paulding county line and there's really nowhere else to get your PallMalls, spray cheese, and baby wipes all at once, but alas, mostly everyone had their teeth and were appropriately attired, which was a bit of a letdown. Then, I started seeing merchandise that I liked! UGA dog scarves, my shampoo at almost $2 less than I pay for it at the grocery store... cute Halloween decorations, orchids, vitamins, OMG! I grabbed the epsom salts and the UGA dog scarf and tore to the checkout, reeling in disbelief and disappointment in myself. It was horrible, and exhilarating. I don't know how to feel about this.

3. Why is a four pack of razor blades $14 when a package of 6 disposable razors (that also have the same 3 blade style and comfort handle) $4.89? Does the lavender vanilla aloe vitamin E anti- aging sensitive skin smoothing strip on the blade really cost that much to manufacture? Do I really need the lavender vanilla aloe vitamin E anti-aging sensitive skin smoothing strip on the blade? And why now do I have to throw away 6 disposable razors in the landfill that will NEVER degrade because of my current economic circumstances? Thanks Gillette, for polluting and being expensive and BTW lavender vanilla mango smells like a gas station bathroom.

4. Khloe Kardashian got married to a dude whom shes known for all of about four weeks. WHAAAT? On a more positive note, if Kim married Reggie, that family is going to have some very good looking mocha colored children with "good butt" genes all around. Watch out Beyonce, you're not going to be the prettiest anymore!

5. I felt super fat today. Then, to add to my self loathing, I was eating M&M's in my car at a red light when one of those near death looking runner types ran by my car and actually jogged in place while waiting for the crosswalk. Have you ever wanted to jump out of your car and tackle someone and take her straight to Zaxby's? I am all for physical fitness, but this chick was on the verge of "forced feeding tube" thin. EWW. Somewhere the has to be a happy medium and until you find it- stop running!
And thanks for making me feel like a hippo.

6. I have a STATS test on Friday and I haven't studied for it or been to either one of the review sessions. Good idea Ellie, way to live on the edge.

7. Ryan makes fun of me for blogging. I just ignore him but it makes me insecure a little. I think he's just jealous that he doesn't find it as easy to communicate as I do and he doesn't care about keeping a record of our lives! He says I'm a nerd and no one reads this. WHATEVA...

8. I have discovered that I have zero patience for people that ask inanely dumb questions in my Psych class while simultaneously using incorrect grammar. My mom said this does not bode well for my bedside manner as a future nurse... I reminded her that natural selection may not be such a bad theory after all.

I FINALLY did it!

I got a new blog background! Thanks to Danielle and her super cute and funny baby blog see:

www.sweetchloelight.blogspot.com

And... (disclaimer, this one gets a little deeper than my usual blog entries)

I am shaking the "swine flu"/strep throat like sickness I have been battling for the last two weeks. Throw in a little PMS and my my, what a cocktail of misery! No wonder Ryan "went fishing in Savannah for the weekend"...

But more important than all that, I reorganized our living room furniture, cleaned out my jewelry studio and started on a new little collection for a late fall sale, tried KFC grilled chicken, am actually enjoying Chemistry and Statistics class (gasp!) and went one whole week without the poodle chewing up anything with more than a $10 value. Awesome.

The new living room format started it all over the last two weeks! The new format is much more conducive to having guests and watching movies, but I'm not sure about the level of "design intergrity". (I think it's ugly) Unfortunately, since we have a great house (cough cough... big mortgage payment) and one of us is gainfully employed while the other is underemployed, in school, and addicted to participating in equestrian sports; my perfectly sketched out living room furniture and design, including rug, is to remain in the same folder as the: barn plans, pic of the white Aston Martin Vanquish convertible, build your own F-250 King Ranch printout, 50 acre horse farm with original historic stone house, lake and adjoining organic farm ad, and the business cards from my favorite estate jewelry dealers which I have been collecting for years.

Sometimes, I look at this folder and wonder when or if any of these "material girl dreams" will in fact materialize. I also have much more realistic desires like granite countertops and a fenced backyard and sometimes think about where the heck my "bailout" check that must be lost in the mail from Washington is! J/K about the check. Anyway, then, I think about whether or not any of that stuff really is important and whether I should spend time wanting it at all. Maybe I am still in the "quarter life crisis" stage of life (don't laugh, this really happens) or maybe I was just reared in a culture where material things were paralled with "dreams" and markers of success. Am I not sucessful until my folder is empty? Will I be satisfied if it is? These uncertain economic times have slammed my generation on its "I have a college degree and therefore a job, a 3 series BMW, and I eat sushi in Buckhead 3 nights a week while wearing Tori Burch flats and a Tibi top" entitled hiney. We can all pretend that we aren't shocked by stories of people our parents age losing their entire retirement saving in the stock market or when we open that letter from our credit card company lowering our limit "just because", but I think we ARE shocked. This was not the plan. This generation did community service since middle school, we are college educated and multi-lingual, we gladly took unpaid internships and worked at summer camps to build our resumes. We did all the right things and burst into the "real world" expecting the same things we saw those just a few years older enjoying and BAM...the real world said, "put it in the folder honey cause youre not gonna see it anytime soon". So no new furniture and no fenced yard. We work our hineys off to do what we should and pay the mortgage instead of expecting someone else to save us. We slowly pay off those student loans and we get letters in the mail about how the "homestead exemption" has not been funded by the state this year and the property taxes are going up. After spending a few days realizing that after the mortgage, health insurance, car payments and insurance, bills, etc... are paid, there's still more to be paid, it hit me. The stuff in the folder is SO not important and so not an indicator of success. The things my culture taught me were important to have were only important under a completely different economic context.

We are successful because of what we've done and are doing NOW, not because of what we have. We are working and are lucky to both have jobs. We are paying the bills and we aren't losing our home. We have great families and great friends and great hobbies. We are loving and enjoying life, and even though we HAVE to laugh about not having 401K's and investment portfolios or 8 month emergency savings accounts, we are, at this time and in this culture, successful. I am not a pastry chef or a candy maker and I don't NEED granite countertops, even though I think they are pretty and that I need them because I love things made out of rocks.

So I FINALLY did it, I chunked the contents of the folder. It was hard, I won't lie. I am incapable of not wanting things, I know, but I think I FINALLY grew up a little. I walked back inside my cute little house, sat down on my green couch with a little dog hair on it, put my feet up on a hand-me-down ottoman, drank a glass of cheap pinot grigio and said a little prayer to thank God for my blessings and my family and petted my dogs. And really, at that very moment, I had everything I wanted.