the 27th year

i turned 27 this week, reluctantly. not because i am one of those "i want to be 21 forever and college was the best years of my life" type people. i ASSURE you, i am not one of those! however, 27 feels dangerously close to 30, which used to be the definition of old in my head! now, 30 feels like the beginning of another part of life and definitely NOT old. with that said, I still don't know if i am prepared for it. i am somewhat of a 'planner' and i used to have diary entries when i was in middle/high school that were titled, "things not to do when you are a mother" and "what i will be doing when im 25" (which included having one child already! wow- scary!) anyway, as i have matured, i still like to plan, but i have discovered the freedom of knowing that MY plan is often not God's plan, and thank goodness for that! i have released the part of my personality that hates surprises, never likes to be without a car, and always wants to be able to know what is happening and when, to God, so that I can concentrate on the now, and even try to enjoy it a bit. I still have the urge to set goals and plan, which isn't a bad thing, but I have also learned that if everything doesn't go according to my plan, there is a reason for it. After all, I NEVER expected to be a 27 year old full time nursing student/nanny, still living paycheck to paycheck. and honestly, i didn't know if i would ever find the joy i had when i was younger through riding and owning and horse, since my first horse owning experience ended in a way that i can only remember as traumatic and heartbreaking. I am so very glad that God puts me in the right place at the right time and puts people in my life that are so very special to me. No offense to anyone who lives this life, but i thought at 27, that i would be happy to live in columbus and sit in the carpool line at brookstone and each lunch at the green island after church every sunday. not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that life, but i realized its not where i am supposed to be right now and that i wouldn't be happy in that life, so i'm glad i have learned to be flexible. most of all i am glad i have learned to listen to God, rather than myself, because judging based only on my history of haircuts and fashion choices, i am obviously not capable of knowing whats best for me- so i can't imagine what would happen if left to my own devices for bigger decisions.

given that preface, here a few things i am challenging myself to do, or have been challenged by others to do in my 27th year:
1. compete jazz in a beginner novice recognized horse trial- and of course bring home the blue ribbon.

2. sing more. this is something i enjoy doing in the relative privacy of my own car, but i have a friend who wants me to sing in public. i told her maybe- if given lots of gin beforehand. i sang a few times in little musicals in high school and that didn't seem scary then, but it seems scary now and i don't know how i did it. my voice was super soprano then as well and it's much deeper and fuller now- so i don't know if i could pull it off, but she swears if i never do it, i am wasting a part of me thats special- so maybe i will listen to her. maybe.

3. clean out and reorganize my file cabinet- yes, this may take an entire year.

4. be a better "student". not just in school, but in life. my personality and teaching degree makes me tend toward wanting to always have a teaching role in life and even in marriage. in my 27 year old wisdom, which has surely developed since my birthday on the 13th, i have become aware that i need to be more open to what other people have to teach me as well. i don't always have to be bossy a leader, and it's ok when i have no idea how to do something or handle something to ask for help.

not allowed

i remember when i first went to college and started driving though atlanta on a regular basis, a family member told me to avoid taking I-20 anywhere- in either direction, for any reason... so i've always been a little hesitant to travel that road. plus, if you ever listen to news in atl- the traffic and the shootings always seem to be on or just off of I-20. further confirming my rather irrational fear of that road...

lately- i have traveled NEAR and OVER I-20 on the west side of atl a lot on the way to a lovely horse farm that is out that way and am actually not so afraid anymore- although i still take back roads all the way.

THEN.... my friend sends me THIS on friday!!! the most hilarious, albeit worrisome facebook message that i have gotten in a while, (she was attending the same horse show that i was this weekend.)

"I'm ALONE in an indian run gangsta Sleep Inn that smells like rotten thai food"

turns out this hotel had a jacuzzi tub right out in the middle of the bedroom...not kidding.

and just WHERE was that hotel? thats right- just off of I-20. so my family member was right- just steer clear of I-20 and its gangsta stanky hotels and traffic- and jacuzzi tubs- and six flags- the tackiest place on earth.

above friend did in fact survive her stay at the Sleep Inn with the help of a little xanax- and probably a long hot soak in a jacuzzi tub while simultaneously enjoying an episode of law and order. (j/k)

so take our advice- I-20 is just not allowed.

UPDATE: Sick mare, sad mare

after three days of ulcergaurd and bran mashes and getting fed four times a day this was her owners facebook status today:
"so now instead of a zombie horse I have a hot 2 year old that needs a chain to walk out to her pasture. I'll take it."

Yay!!! She has turned the corner and will be on 28 days of ulcergaurd plus her fabulous new diet full of yummy things that make her neighbor horsies drooooooooooool. ember is back!

sick mare, sad mare

dear horsey friends, this is a call for help, ideas and insights!

Ember belongs to a dear friend, and is Jazz's BFF, and is like my step-fourleggedchild. We are so worried about her.

a little background info:
12 year old, 16h, TB mare
used for dressage, jumping and light foxhunting
pasture kept full time for three years
moved to new barn and pasture in april 2009- plenty of grass and timothy hay provided in pasture
wormed bi-monthly
always easy keeper, no supplements
see pictures here from june 2009:


We had a cold harsh winter for Georgia, so when she started dropping a little weight in December we chalked it up to being outside in the colder than usual temps and an increase in dressage training. She started being fed twice a day in the pasture and was double blanketed.

January- put a little weight back on and owner decided to move her into partial board (stalled at night, out during day weather permitting, starting Feb.) She is a voracious eater of her sweetfeed- gets four cups twice a day (omolene 200) plus weight builder supplement. Her coat isn't looking great, but it's winter and she bleaches out easily. Being ridden approx 3x per week.

February- came inside for partial board and changed to the partial boarders pasture, was missing her old pasture buddies and didn't integrate into her new herd for the first couple weeks. Spent a lot of time at the fence line waiting to be brought in. Gradually up to 8 cups omolene 200 twice a day plus 1 cup alfalfa pellets plus two flakes at least of fescue hay when in stall. We started feeding her lunch too- omolene/alfalfa pellets plus weight gain supplement. Was putting weight on and excited to get fed lunch. I am the lunch lady and she would literally canter to me in the pasture for it. Gets ridden still approx 3x per week. Went to a show and did well but owner stated she didn't seem "happy' at show.

March- integrated into herd, this month's shipment of hay was awful, looked like straw from a hay ride and was very woody- she ate it, but began dropping weight again. (My mare picks at it like its toxic and makes nests out of it and then pees/poops on it) Still a voracious eater. Ridden regularly still. Went to a hunter pace- did fabulously- owner decided she is much happier in the field and with company than at shows. Coat isn't shedding/blooming at this point but weather is all over the map. Most horses are starting to shed long winter coats now though. When she is brought in for a ride she seems "sad", but we think it's because she is finally integrated into herd and tends to get herd bound. Still eating feed voraciously and we are glad to see that she has befriended my mare. She seems in good spirits and is always very sweet- nickers when her owner or me comes near stall, approaches you in field, affectionate and curious and always "helps" when you clean her stall. Is now stalled in the stall next to my mare and has a big window to see outside. Shows no stress at stall change.

March 27- Bear Creek Hounds Point-to-point Races. Ember is a member of the relay team, she is asked to gallop less than .50 mile and does wonderfully. Was fully warmed up and cooled down, shows no signs of stress at event or later that evening when brought back to barn. Eats her dinner as usual.

March 28- sunday morning- owner goes out and immediately knows something is "off". Ember didn't touch breakfast, is nibbling at hay, and there is little poop in her stall. She is lethargic and doesn't greet owner when stall door opened. Hangs head and just looks sooo sad. Not herself at all. Owner starts walking her in case of colic and she begins phlemming (curling lip up), a classic sign of colic- vet called. Still interested in grazing/walking and doesn't try to roll etc. Still lethargic though. After 1/2 hour I am out there too helping to walk her- I think her tail carriage is "tucked" for her and her belly is tucked up a lot. Her hind end muscles seem hard to me but she's willing to walk- we begin to consider that she might be tying up. Vet still on the way at this point. Still walking/still phlemming, won't drink water or water with electrolytes.

Vet arrives, comments that she's super thin and takes a look at her hay- says its trash as we suspected (thanks barn owner for refusing to take it back), tubes her for colic and gives b-12 shot and banamine. Doesn't mention tying up, but mentions strange virus going around locally that is usually accompanied by extreme lethargy, fever and diarrhea- mare has neither at this point though but we decide to watch her closely in case she develops any symptoms. Vet says give her a bran mash in evening and remove all hay for now, if she doesn't eat mash, call her back.

Doesn't eat mash- we add molasses- doesn't eat it, we sprinkle her regular sweet feed on top and she eats a little bit (~ 1qt.) Seems to have perked up a bit and seems interested in hay and hungry. Owner calls vet back and she says after thinking on it- she thinks ulcers could be the culprit and the little stress colic could be from those or from her previous days activities which were not her usual routine. We think she fits the bill for ulcers- staring coat, weight loss, lethargy, unhappiness, off her feed but still grazing and eating hay. We wonder why though- she would go off feed so suddenly. Her stools are normal too.

Next morning (29th), I go out early to give her a mash, barn owner says she was "pitching a fit" for food when other were fed this morning (approx. 30 minutes earlier which is her usual demeanor at feeding time and good news it seems! I approach stall and she nickers at me, greets me and seems perkier. She eats almost entire bran mash and over next few hours two flakes of new good fescue- thank god the new load came in good. They are inside due to rain and she seems ok. I give her some face time through doors with my mare and she is social.


I check throughout the day and she seems ok and stools are regular for her. We concoct a new meal program for her per vet's suggestions:

Seminole senior
alfalfa pellets
rice bran
prilosec otc for possible ulcers- horse dose
mixed with old sweet feed for a week to change over

She is NOT historically a picky eater.
Today- turned out for day with herd- back off her feed tonight and not eating hay. Lethargic and sad again- see video:




Owner's next steps are blood work and vet back out, possible hay testing, but other horses on same hay are fine. She is worried sick and mare is steadily dropping weight at this point. Coat is dull and attitude is dull and sad. She's miserable and her owner is beside herself.

Please post any ideas/thoughts on coth bb's or comments section here. Thanks in advance for your help and kindness.

social injustices of the week

i know, i'm just a simple southern women with one and 3/4 bachelors degrees and a rather simple life, but let me tell you what- i have a soft heart for social injustices. here are a few things lately that made me want to say, "seriously?"

1. a little girl introduced herself to me as "kels" and i said, 'thats a neat name' and she said, thanks, its short for Sparkels- yes, spelled like that.

2. i overheard one of those cobb co. plastic moms say to another while lunching, "jean cut-offs are in this season- i'm only 43, thats not to old for cut-offs is it? Victoria's Secret has some really cute ones!" omg- please no.

3. ricky martin "came out" yesterday. shocking, i know. this is where i start to wonder, do people really have to "come out" of the proverbial closet anymore? do we not just accept people and their sexuality now-a-days? it seems like we would have come farther as an american culture than that. although i suppose he does need a little publicity these days now that we arent "livin' la vida loca" on a daily basis. if there's one thing i like about our current administration, it's the decidedly not BACKWARDS view on LGBT rights. good for ricky, and hopefully one day people won't have to worry that their sexuality would affect their career in any way. btw- his sons from a surrogate mother are absolutely PRESH... he's passing on those good looking genes!



4. why, does billy ray cyrus make perhaps millions each year and people like me can barely afford to pay our bills? that, my dear, is social injustice. watch one episode of hannah montana and you will agree- i assure you.

-e.

true confessions- weekend edition

1. Best joke i've ever heard:
"how do you wake up lady GaGa?" poke-her face!
omg...lol

2. I want to see that new Miley Cyrus movie that they filmed at Tybee. Who will go with me? RLG is going to veto it for sure :( And no, i don't feel like 26 is too old to want to see it. shut up- it looks good!

3. Marathons of HOUSE are detrimental to my productivity- please USA channel- stop it.

4. I have had my horse since December and today as I watched a friend go through a mild colic/tying up/ulcer episode with her horse (and I almost cried- even though she's not my horse), I realized for the first time that I love my horse- really love her. After losing my first horse in a traumatic fashion at 16, I decided that I wasn't going to let myself get that emotionally invested in another horse. Too late. She's awesome, and funny, and her attitude cracks me up, and I love her.

5. I was trying to be a workout badass today and I hurt myself. My lower back practically gives out every time I get up or sit down and it hurts really bad. Awesome. Then I decided to "cure" it with extra strength tylenol and coffee ice cream so now my pain is coupled with guilt. Great.

6. I need a horse trailer STAT. Anyone selling one?

poodle scarves, poodle cats and poodle panties

i have all of the above... oh lucky me! the poodle scarf presents its sweet little warm cuddly brown self every morning when the alarm goes off. rylie boo, like her mother, does NOT like repetitive loud noises at all and sometimes actually growls when the alarm goes off and my reaction is not quick enough for her liking. however, right after i hit snooze, the 11 poodle scarf begins her morning ritual of nestling across my face and neck in the sweetest fashion, although sometimes i can't really breathe. every since she was a tee tiny little brown puppy, she always liked to lay between my head and shoulder. i used to call her the "parrot poodle" when she was little-er. as i've said before, i am NOT a morning person, but this sweet little bit of poodle love is a nice way to wake up. sometimes, when husband sleeps later than me, heeeee gets the poodle scarf instead and i get jealous because for such an audacious active little doggie, she really does have lots of love to give!

the poodle cat is a new development in rylie boo's repertoire of bad habits. i assure you, if cesar milan ever came to this house, he would probably have a panic attack. anyway, the other evening, i was plucking my eyebrows while sitting on the edge of our bathroom counter (we have the typical double sink set-up) looking into my makeup mirror. rylie boo was pretending to be interested in something up on the bathroom counter and proceeded to begin her supersonic squealing noise in order to alert me that she needed something. she really just likes to sit in my lap when i put makeup on because when she was little, i always put her there to keep her from jumping the shower or peeing in it- but that's another story. i turned around and told her "no" in a very firm manner to try to dissuade her from the squealing. she was quiet and i thought to myself "ha- i won" and turned back around to take my contacts out. when i looked up, poodle cat had appeared... in one try- she jumped her little brown ass right up onto the counter and was smugly smiling at me while standing on the thin rim of counter top on the edge of RLG's sink. it was so funny that i couldn't be mad (which is why i am a terrible poodle trainer) and i realized that she was probably just thirsty. i turned the water on, she drank, and then jumped down and resumed her place on the bathmat looking at me like "mother, if you weren't so dense, you would realize that i know where the water comes from". so now, poodle cat appears almost every evening, sometimes for a drink, and sometimes to gain access to her favorite item in the bathroom- the q-tips. if we lived in china, i would send her off to train for their gymnastics team, because i swear- you have never seen a poodle pull of the variety of circus like feats that this dog performs on a daily basis.

this is probably more information than anyone EVER wanted to know about anyone else's dog, but i have never owned a dog before that is not spayed. i am afraid to get her spayed because her mother went to be spayed after her second litter and died from the anesthesia. in humans, allergies to anesthesia are somewhat genetic, so i am scared to death to spay her. so... the poodle panties have become a necessity. this is her second heat cycle and although she is small and its really not that terrible, the incessant licking of her girlie parts is too much to bear. since husband is out of town and not here to make fun of me, i put a diaper on her- which she removed in about .02 seconds- so i put doll panties on her and voila- she wears them. i might post a picture. especially if she pulls the poodle cat move with the panties on and i can get to my camera in time.

literally- life with this dog is ridiculously funny.
e.