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we are now interrupting your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this...

in case you thought your life was unglamorous, or that weird things only happen to you, let me just give you a list of the weirdness that has been this week! most of my weird experiences have to do with money or poop- i am cursed in that area- literally.  is it friday yet?

1. i went to make a deposit at the ATM and during the process, the ATM froze, of course with my card in it. i called the 800 number on the ATM and after pressing 1, then 4, then 8, then 0, then screaming an obscenity into the phone, an actual person picked up, put me on hold for 11 minutes, and then the ATM magically unfroze and spit my card out. seriously, this kind of thing only happens to me. oh, and my deposit still hasn't posted, of course. oh Bank of America, one day, i am going to devote an entire blog post just to you....

2. rylie boo pooped out an intact $10 bill on monday. i went to pick up her poop off the rug and it was strangely light and not dense. then i saw writing....
 no idea how the poodle had access to stray cash, but i'm hoping she will continue to defecate currency on a daily basis. and yes, i washed it off and kept it.

3. i threw away $40 that i was hiding from myself as "emergency money". since gas costs $98,000 a week, i was looking for it and realized that when i cleaned out my office, i threw away the container it was in. awesome- i'm such a responsible adult. it made me wonder how much money gets thrown away each year on average.

4. the twins that i nanny for are growing up so fast, and the boy twin has entered a lovely new developmental phase that i like to call "poop on the nanny". i often joke that i should change my facebook work info to "feces manager", between the twins, the chickens, the horses and the dogs, my days are generally spent arranging for the disposal of one type of feces or another, but boy twin has taken it to a whole new level. his poop is NOT baby sized, it is huge, and sticky, and it leaks out the sides and top of his diapers and often into his pants. his favorite move is to 'death roll' crocodile style while simultaneously kicking his feet as soon as i remove the diaper so that he spreads the poop all over himself and usually onto me. i have had to change my clothes twice and shower once after these magnanimous poop fests. it's excellent birth control and i suggest all moms make their teenage daughters babysit infants. i won't even comment on the smells. God bless the creator of the diaper genie!

5. after the ATM tried to freeze with my debit card inside, now I can't find it. and yes, mom, i did re-trace my steps. cool. if someone did steal it, they are going to become very familiar with the word "declined", so i'm sure my identity is not one they would want to steal.

6. babies really like to play with toys that aren't for babies. i think the twins stay awake at night and think of elaborate ways to get access to my cell phone. boy twin dropped it today, (no idea how he got it), and now it wont turn on. yay!

that's all for now, i smell another dirty diaper! maybe boy twin will poop out my debit card.

i would like to thank my sponsors...

and i totally would, if i had any.
lately i have been thinking about the upper eschalons of equestrian sport, and how it really does take a village of people to make a sucessful upper level show/event/dressage/race horse. also, i spent a few days working in the Atlanta Steeplechase office and noticed how big of a difference the generosity of a sponsor can make for a large scale event like that.
So, being the efficient problem solver that i am (sometimes, when i'm not just whining), i decided i just needed to find sponsors for my life and equestrian pursuits, and pretty much all of my financial shortcomings would be taken care of. There are of course, more than a few openings to fill, so I spent some time today in traffic thinking about which sponsor relationships would work the best. I mean, who can I get to fill those important niches in exchange for free advertising and a lifetime of loyalty from a rampant blabberer and low level horse show-er with big dreams and and even bigger mouth?
This is what I've got so far, listed by category, need, and of course, what I can provide in return:

Vehicles: Ford- I already drive a white Edge- a lot. So people ALL over the great state of Georgia see it zipping around everywhere, to the tune of about 400 miles a week. That is GREAT exposure. AND!! it's often covered in dirt, mud, and hay particles, which clearly showcases the full spectrum of it's utility as a zip around town car all the way to a pseudo farm truck. I could also showcase the incredible cargo capacity by opening my back doors where there exists an entire closet, tack shop, office and trash can- all in one! So all I really need from Ford is a white F-250 4x4 king ranch package with that pretty baseball glove looking interior. This way, I could also be advertising for them at the myriad of horse related events I attend on the weekend where I need off road and towing capabilities. My hair color and highlights look really pretty against the color of those leather seats, so I'm pretty sure as a "real" woman spokesmodel, I could really be effective since I really can tow a trailer, drag someone out of a mud hole, and explain the merits of using diesel fuel when hauling to all those interested parties- not to mention my dogs are total people magnets and who needs an opening line to get people interested in what you have to say when you have two totally cute furry faces drawing you in. I would also consider adding a composting system to the bed of the truck to provide a use for all of the chicken poop I have, and the horse poop from the trailer, and leftover chick-fil-a fries that get cold. So my F-250 could essentially be a traveling ranch and mobile self contained ecosystem- surely worthy of the king ranch package. Just a good ole American girl, driving a good looking American truck- spreading the word wherever I go! Thanks Ford, I am looking forward to our partnership!

Onto trailers:
This was a pretty hard decision, but the winner is...
so awesome.
Clearly, this company "gets" my overriding goal in life- efficiency and fun!


Tires/Batteries and vehicle maintenance:
This one is still up for grabs and I'm open to proposals. I really like American companies, preferably family owned, with multiple convenient locations and great customer service. I will obviously be needing lots of tires and maintenance, so you can be assured that I will plaster your logo all over the side of everything I own- much like a nascar driver, but prettier, more fluent in English and with animals in tow. I can totally learn to do a back flip off of something and mention your name every time i win a ribbon if that's what you're into. :)

Fuel:

This is a tough one. Although Racetrac and QT both have similar prices and locations, it's really fun to say, "QT"- like "cutee"..."gotta drop by the cutee on the way to the barn". And they have that mocha alert cappucino that I'm sure is no where even closely related to actual coffee but it tastes amazing and has enough caffeine to get a hippo through a marathon. And they have BIG pickles, delicious turkey sandwiches and apple fritters, and corn dogs but with crescent roll crust. Anyone who's ever been stuck at a horse show for like 43 hours with no food KNOWS how good a corn dog from QT can taste. Clearly, I'm already a loyal customer- just imagine the untapped revenue stream you guys could get from me converting every giant diesel drinking truck to convert to loving the "CUTEE" as well. SEA of potential converts (all those white specks in the background are trailers, attached to trucks!):

we horse people love horse power- in every sense of the word

Race Trac, don't worry- you are still in the running, if you can outdo the surely forthcoming sponsorship package from QT. My demands are simple, diesel fuel, delicious highly caffienated beverages, big pickles, and corn dogs.

Farm Equipment: 

I'm not really sure yet on this one. I mean, I like the color green, so clearly John Deere is a frontrunner, but I like the name "New Holland", since my middle name is Holland. So pretty much whoever can deliver one of those cool tractors with the "unicorn" attachment so I can move round bales around and my husband can drive it around an be entertained gets the job. Thanks- let me know when it will arrive so I can be sure to have a crowd gathered to see my new metal unicorn.

Feed:

The mare is VERY partial to her Seminole Gold-Chance Hi Efficiency pellets and Ultra Bloom rice bran so Seminole was the only choice for this one. They have a pretty big name in racing circles and are based out of Florida, but the big mare and I would love to make them the go-to feed for eventers as well. Seriously- I LOVE Seminole feeds and the science behind it. Also, their customer service is top notch when I have a product question. She eats four bags a month exactly and with great gusto!

Supplements:

Steadfast Equine by Arenus

info here

LOVE this supplement. It's easy, convenient, and it just shows up at my door every other month. I love the chemistry behind it's formulation and that it addresses soft AND hard tissue maintenance and repair. Plus it smells kind of good- like soup- and she eats it without hesitation! I sing it's praises to everyone who asks me questions like "how come jazz only gets one supplement?" "how come her feet are so good for a TB and shes barefoot?" "why does her coat look good in winter?", "she had 67 starts as a racehorse and gets no injections???". Yes Arenus, you have a disciple, and I even took a package of this supplement to a chemistry genius and had him break it down and ya know what? They aren't even kidding when they say it benefits joints, ligaments and bones plus coat and feet. LOVE it! Would gladly plaster your very unoffensive logo on my saddle pads and explain the science behind the magical packet of goodness to everyone that asks about it. After all, 80% of your customer base shows at lower level shows....just sayin'

Tack:

This is a tricky one. I don't want to be forced to use certain equipment because I am super picky about tack. I like older saddles. Although I do have dreams about Vespucci bridles. Jazz does too- she told me how good that nice soft leather would feel against her lovely face. She would tell all the other horses to make their mom's buy them Vespucci bridles. 

And she wants a Mattes sheepskin half pad with shims for the front right side. She is working on building her topline, but Gah, no one has a perfectly symmetrical body, and the little dip behind her right shoulder can really make her dressage and jumping saddle feel weird. She wanted to tell all those sheep thank you for their sacrifices for her benefit and that she also enjoys the breathability of their fleeces- there are very few textures that she will tolerate against her skin, but she loves the sheepskin!

Personal care items:

Shampoo- I have a two year long obsession with Suave Professionals moisturizing shampoo- it smells like coconuts and it's amazing. Jazz get's bathed with Suave as well and also enjoys smelling like a very large brown coconut. It makes our hair so soft and clean. Really, we are very easy to please and very low maintenance and we smell good. People like us.

Moisturizer, sunscreen and lip balm: AVEENO! oh AVEENO, I could not live a day without you. I order your VERY hard to find lip balm in bulk from an undisclosed online pharmacy because it is NEVER available locally and I cannot share my sources, and without your sunscreen and moisturizer and lotion, I would look like a crinkly lobster made of leather- much like the older women of the upper level eventing set- scary. No thank you, I will not sacrifice my skin for any amazing horse related lifestyle when I can just slather myself in Aveeno products every day and force them upon my often sunburned, windburned, chapped and dehydrated fellow equestriennes. If I sneak around the corner of your barn aisle at a show and spray you with sunscreen as I dart past, you will thank me later! The Aveeno kind is not sticky, and doesn't sting your eyes when the sweat from underneath your helmet drips down into your face on cross country! AVEENO- listen up, I could really use some samples to give out at shows, I ASSURE you that we in the equestrian sporting world NEED your products- and no one markets them to us- help me help you.

Boots:

Le chameau- I love you. let me just say that. I'm sure people who don't know me personally but see me around school, the grocery story, the library, etc. wonder WHY it is that that woman always has on tall olive green rubber boots? Does she work on a dairy farm? Is she a pirate? Maybe she has a lower leg deformity she is trying to cover up? Nope- I just love wearing your boots. They keep my feet dry, warm, and they are so comfy. Do they look great with yoga pants- probably not, but I don't care! Who needs tennis shoes or weird looking crocs when you can wear tall rubber boots every day?

Dress boots and field boots: 

This sponsorship opportunity will be highly competitive. I currently own 5 pair of quality tall boots, but each seems to have a fatal flaw in fit or design. Honestly, when you pay over 400$ for a pair of dress boots, its more than just disappointing when the zippers fail after a year of use and the sole falls off. Get with it people- the dang boots are just getting comfortable after a year- I don't WANT to replace them and have to wade through 48 brands and styles of boots to find decent ones. And WHO may I ask does this industry use as fit models? Weird cankle cursed tube legged people? Just from general observation, a human leg tapers down from the knee to the ankle. If you would like a diagram of the anatomy of the human lower leg, I will be glad to let you borrow a book. Lord, no wonder people finally just lose their minds and pay 900$ for custom boots- it's a constant battle! Make decent boots for people that actually ride and wear them! It's your job!

One day, when someone actually cares about my opinion, and makes good boots, I will buy you a billboard on the side of 75 to exclaim your success. I swear.

Stress relief:

I think a traveling massage therapist could make a killing at horse shows and clinics. I will gladly share you and you can probably charge like $80 a minute and people would pay it. Just kindly remember who's idea it was to take you to shows and horse events, and please remember for about 60 minutes, once a week. Thanks.

Stress eating:

Everyone has a weakness, admit it. Mine is oreos. When i have a bad day I just want about eight twelve oreos and all of the sudden my bad mood disappears. Charlie Sheen may not agree, but really, i think oreo binges are far less detrimental to my overall health than slamming 7 gram rocks. And I'm fresh out of tiger blood, so Oreos it is. Nabisco, I'm really not quite sure what I could give you in return for this sponsorship, but my horse likes them too, so maybe you could market them as horse treats too. whatever it takes, I NEED them.

Celebrations and merriement:

At the end of a long summer day of riding, I am thirsty, and nothing pleases me more on a hot Georgia afternoon, than cracking open an ice cold Miller High Life. Fortunately for our small and pretty un-judgemental horse community, driving golf carts around horse show grounds sipping beers is generally accepted unless you are an uptight weirdo who escaped from DQ prison. So miller, let me tell you what. I am like SUPER friendly and generally sociable, people talk to me, even when I don't want them to. Send me lots of beer to share with them because I don't think people know how good Miller High Life is! 

From the champagne of beers to actual champagne, Veuve Cliquot Ponsardin, I am going to need you to install a fountain of some sort in my house. Not only are you the best because a woman started your lovely champagne house, but also because you taste like the nectar of heaven. Nothing is a celebration without you. Can you also make me a giant reproduction of your label to plaster on the side of my horse trailer? I'm pretty sure no one has ever done that before and it would look awesome. My horse is very pretty and horse people generally love to drink, so the trailer would be quite the attention getter. I promise not to drink and drive, just drive and promote and then drink when I get there. K Perfect.

Other sponsorship opportunities:

- an organic farm to provide me and the chickens with veggies and tout the awesomeness of eating fresh, local and not commercial.

- sports bras- see the section on boots for explanation of my feelings...

- dog training- with all of these upcoming sponsorships, my life will be spent in the public eye, so my dogs should probably not be a giant embarrassment of spoiled and undisciplined behaviours. Help.

**disclaimer**- obviously the blog post is intended as mostly a joke and i know i am not cool enough to get my life sponsored so don't take this all seriously and get offended about things. i like to dream big.  thanks.

thought for the day:

today i am having a hard time being a grown up and accepting that "things are the way they are", and "life isn't fair", and other boring old sayings etc. i don't want to turn into one of those people that just accepts "no" as an answer and becomes unwilling to ever stand up for anything that they believe or want because it isn't easy enough.

i was considering this morning, while i was cleaning out my closet, that if given the chance to do anything i wanted, every day, for the rest of my life, i would choose to "save things". not the stuff in my closet, but i would choose to find off the track thoroughbreds new homes, and unwanted pets homes and veterinary care, and kids that no one wanted and the "system" gave up on and place where they could grow up and be loved, and have medical care and the kind of "education" they need, not the one that was mandated for them and just didn't work.

when i drive down the road and the lottery billboard states a jackpot of 287 million or some asinine number that i can't actually realistically fathom, i like to think about what i would do with that money.

i have visions of giant farms with big old farmhouses that i get to artfully restore and turn into a home for the kids that no one wants to deal with. a big barn full of thoroughbreds that have come in from the track to relax, and gain weight, and adjust to life and retraining as a riding horse. the three legged dogs and plain big black dogs that shed, and little one eye'd kitties roam the barn and farm and keep away the varmints.  the kids learn real actual skills that can get them jobs one day that they can keep by working on the farm. they learn about planting and harvesting and physical labor and driving tractors, and cleaning out stalls and chicken coops, and collecting eggs and always feeding and picking up after one thing or another. learning to ride and train horses, and learning patience with animals that are the best at teaching it, and learning most of all- to love and care for things outside of themselves. it's my utopian symbiotic relationship farm- and i want it.

but because "life isn't fair" and "things are the way they are", no endeavor like mine is ever profitable, and no one invests time or money or much of themselves into something not profitable. and that, to me, is not cool. and it makes me sad. so even though the likelihood of me winning the lotto is slim to none, (it's especially hard to win the lotto if you don't play), one day, when i am a grown-up that STILL refuses to believe all the boring people that always just say "no" and "you can't" and i do find a way to have my utopian symbiotic relationship farm (which will obviously need an easier to pronounce name), all the boring old grown-ups can come and stay for as long as they like. they can pick their dinner from the garden, and spend time remembering how to simply give away love when the horses and dogs and cats and chickens insist on their attention, and they can learn how to discern horse hay from cow hay and weld a horse trailer back together from a kid that everyone said would never be a functional member of society. so there.

the prodigal hen

oh katymay, the prodigal hen.

last friday morning, katymay disappeared. this wasn't the first time she has done this. once before, during the snowstorm in february, she was gone overnight! we searched the property high and low, but she was nowhere to be found. the next morning, she was back! waiting outside the barn, perched on the bench like nothing was amiss. meanwhile, the other 6 chickens spent the night warm and dry inside the barn. we thought it was a fluke- that she was disoriented by the snow- apparently not.

during the day, the chickens range around the property and pretty much do what they want. they wander up to the house in the morning and scratch around in the gardens for bugs and then, in the evenings around sunset, they put themselves to bed and file into the barn to find their favorite spot to perch.

and then there's katymay...
when katymay was a chick, i named her after the nickname that my dad calls my mom. i named her this because she is a golden color, but her crest has these feathers that look like she has highlights. lovingly of course, i compared them to my mom's hair, which is somewhat uncontrollable in nature and also has highlights. besides the hair/feather similarity, katymay was an adventurous chick- always the first to "check things out" and one of the first to hop out of their little enclosure and adventure into the stalls for a dust bath. my mom is adventurous as well, and not afraid to try new things, so katymay seemed like an appropriate name for her.

now that katymay is grown up, she is still a sweet little chicken, but is quite a wanderer. fearless, although she shouldn't be since she is the smallest of all the hens, she spends her days exploring on her own- waiting for no one to accompany her. she always used to end up back with the pack by the end of the day to come in the barn for an evening snack of sunflower seeds, but last friday, she was gone!

we searched EVERYWHERE. with flashlights in the trees and i even parked my car with the headlights facing the woods where she sometimes roosts to look for her in the dark. i was terrified something had "gotten" her. i was scared to look at the ground for fear of finding a pile of feathers. there was just no trace of her. i spent a few hours that weekend walking the creek lines and fence lines and there was just- nothing. come sunday morning, i was starting to accept the fact that she wasn't coming home.

monday evening, i was at the barn in the evening to feed and my barn owner was down there as well, we were chatting about the chickens and talking about katymay. she said that while looking for her, she had found a nest with 26 eggs in it in the woods at the base of a tree. we thought katymay wasn't laying yet, well she was- just not in the nest boxes! just as we were discussing why she goes off on her own to lay, our neighbor from up the road came walking down to the barn. she said she wanted to talk about the chickens. i thought immediately that we were in trouble because our rooster, einstein, REALLY likes the sound of his own crow lately, and is very loud. i thought for sure he was probably driving them crazy and she was going to ask how long it would be before he gets butchered... (which he isn't, although i have threatened his life with explanations about where those delicious chicken fingers from zaxby's come from when decides to attack people)

surprisingly, she wants chickens of her own, and came to ask us about ours. i introduced them to her, and we told her about the disappearance of katymay, and how even though people say chickens are stupid, they each have their own personalities and you do grow attached to them. mid-sentence, she said, "oh, there's a little brown chicken down by my pond and it's been there for days". i said, "WHATTTT?????!!!!!- is she dead?" and she said, "no- she's fine". she was very calm and matter of fact about it all, and although i wanted to sprint off in the direction of the pond immediately, i tried to remain composed and said, "do you mind if i walk over and get her?", they both offered to join me, and as we walked over to her property, katymay trots out of the tree line by the pond and straight to my feet, like, "hey mom!". i scooped her up in my arms and lectured her about running away from home. when we got back to the barn, i made her spend the night in the chicken condo to remind her of where she belonged! she was quite hungry and ravenously ate her sunflower seed treats and chicken food and i was reminded of the story of the hungry prodigal son in the bible. i was so glad to have her home, even though i was quite insulted that she would try to leave us. she has stayed around fairly well this week and i have been watching her like an overprotective crazy person. feeding her treats every chance i get to remind her of where her bread is buttered! hopefully, that will be her last foray into undiscovered territory. much like trying to keep up with my mother at scott's antique market, katymay needs a leash, or maybe an electric collar of some sort. 

spring spring spring has sprung!

insert whistling and sunshine and flowers and puppies and kittens and cool breezes on warm days here!
i love spring, minus the pollen wreaking havoc on my allergies, but it's a fair price to pay for the end of grey winter skies, and winter clothes and muddy pastures with no grass! i can even tolerate getting up at five for morning feedings before work better when i know i don't have to wear 34 layers of clothes and decide what blankets the mares should wear that day, and break up the ice in the water trough. instead, i get to wake up to birds chirping and watch the sun come up since the time changed and go on daily egg hunts since the hens are laying up a storm! if every morning was like this, maybe, just maybe, i could become a morning person. i still can't be one of the "cool kids" and join the coffee drinking culture, even though i have tried to like it, i just don't really and it makes my stomach hurt!

within the last week the mares have starting blowing out their winter coats, and even though Jazz tolerates me approaching her with the shedding blade about as well as i tolerate taylor swift sing-a-longs, she has started to let me groom her with it in very limited sessions and it's nice to see all that soft puffy coat coming out. i love her summer coat, when she is sleek and shiny and her musculature is apparent and i look forward to continuing to build her topline and butt muscles this season with more correct and challenging dressage work. she is beginning to show me her affinity for dressage, she's always been a thinking kind of mare, and now that she has learned to "think" about her work, she is really progressing quickly. it's like having a child that's about 18 months old- that stage where they just sponge up all the information you can give them, and they learn to communicate and their motor skills are changing almost daily- an exciting time!

i am also SO excited about the completion of the "golden nugget", which is a really nice and big hen house that my barn owners have built- and let me tell you, no detail was overlooked, and no engineering shortcuts were taken. i think if we ever have a tornado and i'm stuck at the barn, i will be safe in that thing! i can't wait for it to be finished up and moved out of the barn, even though it may take a crane to move it, so i can banish the chickens from loitering about in the barn. the chicken poop polluting up the place is driving me nuts. i miss the aisles being spot free and i really like the barn to be clean- like, cleaner than my house. or maybe i would just rather clean the barn THAN my house- that is perhaps the real truth. luckily, ryan has accepted my lack of talent  and time for house cleaning, and really, the dog hair that doodle sheds on a daily basis is more than anyone can keep up with, so he agrees that we need to bring someone in for house cleaning and now he is letting me find someone to iron as well. this is like the BEST gift ever to me. really, i would rather have a house cleaner and ironer than a 4 carat diamond, and i LOVE diamonds. some people find cleaning and ironing "therapeutic", and i wish i was like that, but i would rather poke my eyes out with a wire hanger than iron. after a day of work and school and then barn, coming home to clean and organized house and happy dogs is probably the best thing i can think of- so i'm pretty excited to find someone that is willing to do this for us. i put an ad on craigslist, and i really wish i could post some of the responses i have gotten on here, because let me tell you what, they range from hilarious to super creepy, but it would be too mean, so i won't.

whoever ultimately gets the job will have to pass the four-legged-children test, they have to love the dogs and the dogs love them. so everyone we interview is getting to meet the doggies- which has been interesting. rylie boo will tell you pretty quickly if she likes someone, doodle takes a little longer to make that decision but it's really interesting to watch them with a stranger. i could just never imagine letting someone in the house who wasn't dog approved. so we shall see who craigslist brings us, but hopefully the spring will be a cleaner one soon!

laterally and literally

jazz and i enjoyed a great dressage lesson this week, right before the monsoon hit on wednesday. it was one of those lessons where i left feeling invigorated, motivated, and proud of my mare. i even called my mom to tell her about it, even though after all these years of me riding, she still insists that you hold on and steer a horse with your knees, and once my mom has an idea in her head, it's hard to convince her otherwise. so i may as well have been talking to the one year old twins i nanny,  but it was nice to have someone to tell about it, since all my horsey friends were busy at work.

since our last lesson, we have been working on making transitions, especially the upwards transition into canter, less of a "big deal". i tend to overanalyze sometimes and the old mantra "perfect practice makes perfect" rings continuously in my head. so when our transitions into canter were jumpy, bucky, or wrong-leady, i would get all mentally frazzled about what i am doing wrong and how to better and more clearly communicate to jazz, who was probably just wondering why mom is all frazzled up there and why our canter transitions were such a "BIG.DEAL!!!". so our lovely dressage trainer brought this to my attention and said she could see my body language changing as soon as she asked for a canter, so i was busted... and thank God she busted me! So for the last two weeks, i just pick a spot, a random spot, and ask quietly. If she gets the wrong lead we just come back down to trot , put ourselves back together, and ask again- no fuss and no worry. The other thing is that i cannot ask in the same place twice, if i do, ms. smarty pants mare will literally canter at that exact spot every time we pass over that spot for the rest of the ride. maybe i should just tape our dressage tests up in her stall and she can learn them instead of me?!

anyway, the other exercise that has really helped us lately with transitions and maintaining a rythym are shoulder-ins. for the first 6 months i rode jazz, my biggest issue was keeping her attention on me, we've solved that issue now and she is quite willing to work, but now we need the consistency in our gaits and consistency in her body (and mine) so that every time i ask for a lengthening or shortening or transition or i reach up to swish my bangs out of my eyes, it doesnt go like this: lovely trot...mom, youre moving your body...hollow back, head up, tail swish, choppy steps, mom! what do you want??....oh, you were just scratching your nose....head down, back up, lengthen stride...lovely trot....
so although i LOVE that my mare is sensitive to my aids and to my body, sometimes we both have to learn to overlook eachothers mistakes (i.e. extraneous movements). i truly dont know whether she is sometimes using my subtle shifts as an excuse, or if she is truly trying really hard- but i like to think it's the latter. so the shoulder- in, although some would argue it's too early to be working these since we are still working on rythym in the training scale, has been beneficial for us in more ways that one. first, it's made me more cognizant of riding her front end and hind end differently, but in unison, and has made me much more efficient in riding BOTH sides of the horse well and simultaneuously, and also, she really looks for the contact to understand what i am asking of her and i have seen her grow much more relaxed lately. in an even more pleasantly unexpected result, it has helped me to unlock her sometimes "strong" shoulders and get her weight off of my inside leg and allow her to take larger steps, instead of quicker ones.  the mare is a pretty good faker sometimes, and will look like she's on the bit and relaxed and round through her back and neck, but secretly, her inside shoulder is pushing at my leg and her body seems "locked" to me, even though it will fool an eye on the ground. so the shoulder-in and beginnings of lateral work in general have helped us in that now it's too hard for her to "punk" me with her shoulder, because it has to be active! yay!

on to the literally part of this post- we literally actually and realistically started working on trot lengthenings and shortenings- well mostly shortenings!!! i feel like dressage is suddenly much more fun. not because we are learning "tricks", but because i can tell what a difference it's making in my horse and me- and dang it- it's fun to see work pay off!
so again, kudos to my dressage trainer for explaining the beginnings of this process in a not so esoteric way to me because, i just read "practical horseman", i still can't understand "dressage today" and it makes me fall asleep!  so this is how i thought about it after she explained it: think of the trot as a scale from 1 to 10. one being the most collected trot ever (i saw passage in my head), and ten being a super extended trot (i saw phillip dutton and connaught from rolex 2009). once i have my mare in a real working trot, she naturally falls at about a 6 on the scale for cadence and length of step, so my job was to make her a 3, without losing the cadence (the hard part!) and turning into a western pleasure looking trot. and we actually did it! jazz was soo soo good about listening to me and even though it used to seem counterproductive to "click" at her with my mouth while asking her to "stay" underneath me, all of the sudden it seem natural and the aids made sense, she really was able to do it and it was a very proud moment for me because she is strong enough to and athletic enough to- and i can't wait to work on it more! it was neat to feel the normally very forward energy underneath me change from the feeling of (trying to make this an analogy that the non horsey folks can understand) water squirting out of a hose, to water spinning in a front load washer. i wasn't losing any energy, it was just recirculating underneath me.

so for those of us on a journey with a horse where we learn together to be correct in our movements, it was a big deal! i have only ever ridden an upper level dressage horse twice, so it's hard sometimes to teach something to your horse when you've never felt it yourself! yay for the good lessons, and yay for the horses that teach us as much as we teach them.

thats all for now!

weather

dear weather,
  you have been so lovely all week, and i have been basking in your sunshine and warmth, thinking happy thoughts and frolicking around the farm patting the ponies and carrying the hens around in my arms while considering plans for my spring veggie garden. i feel like our relationship this week has been mutually fulfilling, and even when the gas prices rose out of control and rylie boo chewed a snap off of my favorite jacket, i never whined, not even a whimper, all because you made me so happy dear weather.

and now this??? i wake up this morning and the skies are back to middle grey and theres this heaviness to the air and its COLD! like 40 degrees! the weatherman calls you a "wedge" and says that you'll be here all weekend to rain on my hunt plans and pasture fence installation plans and i quote, he said this morning, that you will in fact "dump buckets" of rain starting tomorrow morning. and now that my two day thin mint binge is over and clearly my high has worn off, he may call you a "wedge" but i can think of a few other things to call you!

we better have some dang pretty hay this summer, because that is the ONLY benefit i am seeing right now of having you around, mr "wedge". i mean really, why can't you arrive during the work week when we are all trapped inside at work and school- it's always the weeeeeekend! not cool.

considering a break-up,
ellie